10. It’s no coincidence that “plovers” rhymes with “Stouffer’s.”
9. After spending the summer cordoned off from Hamptons beachgoers, they would welcome an invite to dinner.
8. Plovers have to be the most abundant “endangered species” on the face of the earth.
7. Ben Franklin never proposed the piping plover as our national bird.
6. Small plates are all the rage.
5. Seventeen East End fireworks shows have already been cancelled for summer 2013.
4. They taste like chicken, a rare East End delicacy now that Sag Harbor lets you keep chickens as pets.
3. Old Man McGumbus is afraid that if turkeys become endangered, they’ll stop producing Wild Turkey Bourbon.
2. No piping plover has ever been pardoned by a president. No president has every heard a contrite “Pardon me for taking up your entire beach” from a piping plover.
1. The presence of piping plover nests prompted the DOT to postpone construction on County Road 39 until the Friday of Memorial Day Weekend 2013.