Despite Punxsutawney Phil’s optimistic prediction, it’s no secret that the East End has yet to experience “spring.” Low temperatures continue to grip the area, and it was actually snowing on the first official day of the season. While Hamptonites carried on dreaming of warm summer beach days, an Ohio county prosecutor has taken a different approach. He’s suing the lying groundhog and calling for the death penalty.
According to court documents posted online:
l, Michael T. Gmoser, the Prosecuting Attorney of this County, say by way of information that:
COUNT ONE MISREPRESENTATION OF EARLY SPRING
On or about February 02, 2013, at Gobbler’s Knob, Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that Spring would come early. Contrary to the Groundhog day report, a snowstorm and record low temperatures have been and are predicted to continue in the near future, which constitutes the offense of MISREPRESENTATION OF EARLY SPRING, a Unclassified Felony, and against the peace and dignity of the State Of Ohio.
SPECIFICATION: The people further find and specify that due to the aggravating circumstances and misrepresentation to the people that the death penalty be implemented to the defendant, Punxsutawney Phil.
Yikes. We’re upset about the cold temperatures too. But is Phil really any more wrong than the weather man on a daily basis? Let’s hope that the cuddly creature and weird tradition lives on!