Southampton Man Arrested for Spoiling New Star Wars Film

Southampton Man Arrested for Spoiling New Star Wars Film

Hamptons Police arrested Rex Darbodis, an unemployed Southampton man, on three different occasions this week for embracing the dark side and deliberately spoiling plot points and secrets from J.J. Abrams’ blockbuster Star Wars sequel The Force Awakens.

Police were initially called to the the Hamptons Multiplex during the film’s first showings on Thursday evening, December 17. Upon arrival, officers witnessed Darbodis standing outside the theater, shouting out some of the film’s most shocking surprises to horrified fans in the ticket line.

Dressed as Kylo Ren, the film’s main bad guy and the modern answer to Darth Vader, Darbodis yelled out a long list of spoilers, including which characters live and which characters die; key events in the story and where each character ends up at the conclusion of the film. It was unclear how Darbodis had seen the movie before its local premiere on Thursday, but police speculate that he was informed by an online accomplice from Australia or Europe, where The Force Awakens premiered one or two days earlier, respectively.

Officers took Darbodis into custody as he argued for his freedom of speech and wildly swung a red plastic lightsaber at them. Their efforts were met with enthusiastic cheers from the assembled fans outside the multiplex.

A few short hours after his release on Friday, Darbodis returned to the Hamptons Multiplex with a new plan to ruin The Force Awakens.

Posing as a Salvation Army bellringer, Darbodis managed to set himself up right outside the multiplex doors. When cinema patrons stopped to search their pockets for change, he started to thank them for their generosity, then proceeded to quickly spoil key plot developments and revelations from The Force Awakens.

When multiplex employees asked Darbodis to leave, he shouted the identities of every character who died and began reciting the plot, scene by scene.

Police arrived just in time to save Darbodis from a mob of thirty- and forty-something men in stormtrooper and Jedi costumes, who had begun pushing him and screaming obscenities. One man was heard calling Darbodis a “stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder,” as officers dragged the Southampton spoiler into a waiting patrol car.

Darbodis was released for the second time on Monday, but Hamptons Police took him back into custody later that day after learning he had taken to social media and was posting similar spoilers in the comments of any Star Wars-related post he could find on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Hamptons Police spokesman Larry Hirsch explained the unprecedented detention in a press conference Tuesday. “Our actions here may appear extreme to some, but Mr. Darbodis has put himself at risk of great bodily harm through his obsessive spoiling,” Hirsch said, adding, “We are also exploring charging him with grand theft for ruining the experience of so many moviegoers.”

For now, Darbodis remains detained in a sound proof cell at Hamptons Police Headquarters.

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