Hamptons Police Cut Deal with Russian Spy Ship Captain

Hamptons Police Cut Deal with Russian Spy Ship Captain

Last month, tensions mounted as what is known to be a Russian spy ship was spotted lurking in international waters off the coast of the Hamptons. At one point, it was reported that the ship was roughly 30 miles off the coast of Montauk.

Elected officials weighed in on the matter, with local Congressman Lee Zeldin calling the ship’s presence evidence of Russian “aggression.” Late Saturday, however, the Hamptons Police released a statement that cast a different light on the matter. The statement reveals that the Russian ship was apparently doing surveillance on behalf of none other than the Hamptons Police.

“On Monday, the Hamptons Police made contact with the commander of the SSV Viktor Leonov, which had recently sailed from Cuba, in order to request aid in our effort to track down elusive suspects and perpetrators in our jurisdiction,” Hamptons Police Department spokesman Larry Hirsch explained in a recent press conference. “This was not an act of treachery on either side, but rather a friendly request that, as long as they were in the area, the Russians might use the powerful capacities of their state-of-the-art spy ship to help us in the locating and apprehending of criminals in our midst,” Hirsch continued, adding, “The commander was happy to lend the aid of his skilled crew and sophisticated equipment, which he considered a gesture of goodwill.”

According to Hirsch, the Hamptons Police Department received valuable intelligence that they hope will lead to numerous arrests in the near future, and the Russians in turn have expressed interest in borrowing the Hamptons Police submarine.

“As far as we’re concerned, now that we seem to have a relationship, they can borrow the sub whenever they want during the winter,” Hirsch said, while noting, “During the summer we need it for our beach patrols.”

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