Hampton Police Issue Disco Zombies Warning

Hampton Police Issue Disco Zombies Warning

The Hamptons Police Department and emergency personnel reported three people across the South Fork were attacked and bitten by disco zombies on Tuesday evening.

Disco zombies, distinguished from regular zombies by their glittery white suits and their constant disco dancing, have been known to haunt the Hamptons on Halloween, and the police have issued strongly worded warnings over the last four years advising caution.

“I’m not sure what more we can do to protect people from this,” said a clearly exasperated Hamptons Police spokesman Larry Hirsch. “If folks insist on approaching and trying to make friends with a guy dressed up in a white, sequined tuxedo who is clearly in the throes of convulsive disco dancing, none of our words of warning are going to do any good.”

The victims of the disco zombie attacks have been placed under observation.

This is not the first year disco zombies have been a problem in the Hamptons. In 2015—the 30th anniversary of disco—the creatures were out in force around Halloween, which is an especially dangerous time given how many people dress up as zombies. Telling the difference between costumed revelers and actual zombies has long been a problem in the spooky season.

“We’re just glad the worst of it is over,” Hirsch said.

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