Stolen Bench? What?!

Some Crimes You Just Can’t Let Go On The North Fork

By Phyllis Lombardi

Crime on the North Fork? You bet. Just listen to this from the police column in a recent issue of a North Fork newspaper.
“A park bench was overturned and damaged at Veterans Memorial Park in Mattituck.” True, a few other breaches of law were reported, but this park bench thing got to me. Maybe because this time of year most North Forkers would like to find a bench and just sit. The kids are back in school, city cousins have gone back to their apartments, and the weather’s just right. Perfect, really, for claiming a bench and relaxing. Perhaps reading a copy of Dan’s Papers.
I wonder. How many benches are there on the North Fork? Jim McMahon at Southold Town Department of Public Works couldn’t give me an exact number. I understand why. Benches, said Jim, are installed all over the place by just about everyone – from Riverhead and Southold towns, to the hamlets, to park districts, to the New York State Department of Transportation, to individual business owners. With all these benches, every North Fork derriere should be able to find repose.
My mission became clear. A bench inventory. An inventory revealing that many of the new benches on Main Road from Riverhead to Orient were placed there after major road work was completed last year. Thank you, DOT. Jim McMahon added that a good number of benches in Southold town were made by a Department of Public Works employee. More economical than purchasing benches, Jim said. Me? I want to believe they were made with love. And to that employee goes the gratitude of foot-sore North Forkers.
In truth, the benches I was most anxious to search out were those a bit off the beaten track. Benches you would not see as you shopped along Main Road or traveled Route 48 on the way to the ferry at Orient Point.
And indeed, at Orient Beach State Park is where bench-day should begin. Where the dark of the night meets the light of the day. Come to the park early and with the rest of the world, wait for sunrise. Bring a lightweight jacket, find a bench, and settle in. Listen to the music of wind and water. You and your bench are about as far east as you can go except for a few benches along the New England coast.
While this next bench may not offer such a dramatic setting, it is most welcome as the centerpiece of a lovely garden in what was, until last year, an unlovely spot.
This scruffy patch of land at the northern end of Pequash Avenue in Cutchogue was not visible to drivers on Main Road but if you drove down Pequash the scraggly weeds waved a sad welcome.
All that changed when Rich Bozsnyak and the crew at Rich’s Quality Auto Body got to work. The shop is on the corner of Pequash and Main so it was easy to lug shovels, rakes, fertilizer and plants to the patch in question. Not so easy was digging, raking, planting, maintaining.
Now there is a welcoming committee of holly bushes, hydrangeas, impatiens, shade trees, and a bench. Rich says he and the crew have received many compliments from local residents who appreciate a business that makes things better – just because.
You’ll have to drive to Riverhead to discover these next benches. They’re not on Main Street or overlooking the Peconic River, but rather in a small park in an unlikely place – the intersection of Osborn Avenue and Middle Road. Ray Coyne of Riverhead’s Parks and Recreation Department said that despite its location, the park in known as Horton Avenue Park. Find here a basketball court, picnic tables, oak and maple trees, a bit of a lake (when it rains) and benches. The grass is cut but there are no showplace flowerbeds. This is simply a spot that says “slow down” so close to Route 58. Good advice.
And so back to the original crime. I don’t know whether the police have made an arrest in the overturned-bench case. I hope they have.
For punishment and possible rehabilitation? Let me suggest something Dante-esque.
Choose a hot summer day, strap a knapsack on the bench-buster’s back and have him walk from Riverhead to Mattituck. In heavy boots. An occasional sip of water, yes – but absolutely no bench-sitting along the way.