book review: mason-dixon knitting

with Ken Kindler

There is a whole other world out there, a world in which people knit. Mason-Dixon Knitting by Ann Shayne and part-time Southampton resident Kay Gardiner, is a window into it. I do not live in this world. I was born into a different one, one in which I used a stapler to “sew” my costume for the ninth grade production of The Crucible. This book, therefore, becomes a fascinating tour through a land where yarn is like currency. That is, if you can make it through the titles. There are four. The full title of the book is Mason-Dixon Knitting: The Curious Knitters’ Guide: Stories, Patterns, Advice, Opinions, Questions, Answers, Jokes and Pictures: Created for Knitters Everywhere Who Share The Give ‘Em Hell spirit of Just Picking Up the Needles and Making Stuff.

After reading the cover I had two questions. The first was why does the title refer to the Civil War division between North and South? Consulting the back jacket cover, I discovered that Gardiner, who was formerly an assistant US attorney in Manhattan, is the “Yankee” of the writing team while Shayne, originally from Nashville, plays the Southern Gal. Yet, the opening pages reveal that Gardiner was raised in Nebraska and that Shayne spent her career days in New York. The result is a muddle of regionalism instead of a cute dichotomy of Yankee vs. Dixie. Although the authors alternate the penning of the chapters, the tone of the entire book seems to be that of one person living neither in the North or the South, but rather in the same neighborhood as The Brady Bunch.

My second question was: There are jokes about knitting? How many are there? How come I haven’t heard them told at cocktail parties? By page twelve the answers reveal themselves: 1) There are too many. 2) Because they are bad. (Well, to be fair, one was mildly cute. One knitted bathroom rug bore the name Absorba the Great Bathmat.)

Still, the jokes are not the scariest part. The stories are even more unsettling. The authors mention the place knitting now inhabits in their lives since they left their careers. The authors discuss this with humor and a touch of self-depricating. At times, however, this comes across as a depressing portrait of two women who seem to search for meaning and occupation in unappreciative homes. “Nobody sees most of the things I’ve spent hour upon hour cranking out – it’s hard to wear your handknits enough, ……to get your kids to wear the stuff you have made. This is why I have turned…… to knitting stuff for my house to wear……. It is the most forgiving recipient of stuff I knit,” writes Ann.

Yet, as “Mason-Dixon Rule Number 368” states, “Don’t Take Any Crap About Being A Knitter.” And they have a point. Gardiner and Shayne do what they love, and while they may do it to excess, they seem to do it well. The book contains thirty-six projects ranging from expansive blankets to tiny baby kimonos.

While amazement is due to all projects for the fact that they can be made solely from string and two pointed sticks, taste is necessary in selecting a project that will actually complement your house or wardrobe. For example, the Modern Log Cabin blanket is sleek, sophisticated, and subtle, looking more at home in a SoHo apartment than in an actual log cabin. The rug made out of potholder loops, on the other hand, looks, unfortunately, like a rug made out of potholder loops. The near sheer curtain is delicate and airy, but the effect goes awry when applied to the “Mason-Dixon After Dark Nightie.”

Whatever the project, the patterns are neatly and logically presented with helpful hints sprinkled throughout. Of course, for someone like me – someone who once “sewed” a Tinker Bell Halloween costume with sixty-three safety pins and a bottle of glitter glue – the patterns appear to be written in code. “KI, yf, slip I purlwise, yb, *k5, yf……” means nothing to me. The index of terms and abbreviations listed in the back of the book could help. Also included are a list of websites from which to purchase cheap yarn, a guide for choosing color schemes, Q&As with fellow knitters, and a reference for other books on knitting. Most abundant throughout the book are glossy photographs of colorful knitted products. These photos have the same effect on me as those in cookbooks. I do not like to cook, but the shiny pictures of crimson sauces make me think I do. Thanks to Mason-Dixon Knitting, knitting could be my new favorite hobby that I don’t do.

–Renée R. Donlon

Mason-Dixon Knitting is available at Bookhampton in East Hampton. Call 631-324-4939.