Issue #30, October 20, 2006

Suffolk Community College And Famous People

In A Perfect World, These Celebrities Would Attend SCCC

By Phyllis Lombardi

The president is going back to school. No, not that president. I’m talking about Martin Sheen, the guy who, for seven seasons, played President Josiah Bartlet in the television series “The West Wing.”

Now I’m a big fan of Martin Sheen (not of his politics or his kid, Charlie) so I read with interest that he’s just enrolled as a full-time student at National University Galway in the west of Ireland. Ever been to Galway? Take the ferry to the Aran Islands.

But back to Martin. He went to high school in Dayton, Ohio and now, at age 66, he wants that college degree. So he’s going to study English literature, oceanography, and philosophy in Ireland. He said he’ll have more anonymity there. And besides, he’s met the college president and likes him. The president’s name is Iognaid Muircheartaigh. Wow! If I refer to him again, I’ll just call him Iggy.

Had I known Martin wanted a college degree, I, of course, would have urged him to attend Suffolk County Community College in Riverhead because it is a great school and because he’d be in a classroom only twenty minutes or so from my home. I think I’d even apply for a job in the SCCC cafeteria. All the coffee I could drink and a chance to chat with the handsome president.

Alas. As I said, Martin’s going to be in Ireland. But not all is lost. If our big names are going to foreign universities, why can’t some out-of-country big shots return the favor and come to our Riverhead campus? How exciting! And it would benefit so many North Fork pursuits.

For example, horses. We’ve all kinds of horse stuff on this fork. Stables, horse breeders, riding academies and the like. I suggest we sign up Britain’s Prince Charles for a few courses at SCCC. He’s horsy. And think of the attention he and wife Camilla would focus on the Fork. They’d probably stay in a fancy B&B, true, but other than that, they’d go to the Mattituck movie theater, and spend some time in Southold sharing a pizza in Pagano’s and maybe purchasing some gems in Robert’s Jewelers, to bring home to the royal mum. All this while Mr. Prince Charles shares his horse sense with North Forkers.

In SCCC classes with Charles, we’ll have Kofi Annan from Ghana. He’s serving, until December of this year, as Secretary-General of the United Nations. Kofi’s expertise is diplomacy, right? As a diplomat, he won’t have to say anything meaningful. Just appear at North Fork venues where occasional friction occurs. He could visit Plum Island, talk with Cross Sound Ferry and Southold Town officials, check out the Grumman property in Riverhead (how many years?). Kofi’s simply appearing on the scene might remind everyone how effective the UN is. Could there be “trickle-down” diplomacy on the North Fork? Let’s have Kofi in class and find out.

This next SCCC candidate is much younger than Martin or Kofi. But he’s gotten considerable attention lately. He’s Germany’s Benjamin Becker and he’s the swinger who recently defeated Andre Agassi. Tennis, anyone? Yes, on the North Fork there’s tennis instruction, tennis court construction companies, and tennis tournaments such as the Bob Wall Memorial. That tournament helps fund scholarships for North Fork high school seniors. An appearance by Ben Becker, maybe even a little coaching, would certainly be powerful publicity.

Finally, there’s Sophia. Right. We’re going to add some glamour to our group. From Italy to Riverhead comes Sophia Loren. And while it may not be appropriate to reveal the lady’s age, I’ll simply say she’s several years older than Martin. I suspect there’ll be no trouble filling any SCCC class Sophia registers for. And after class? Why, she can travel all over the North Fork speaking to women in our senior organizations. Give ’em a few hints, you know. After all, this is a woman who’s hobnobbed with the likes of Cary Grant, Clark Gable, John Wayne, and Frank Sinatra. She’s gotta have a lot of secrets about looking drop-dead gorgeous even after 70 and we need to know them.

Well, there you have it. Charles, Kofi, Ben and Sophia are all hitting the books in Riverhead. What a coup for the North Fork. True, they’ll all graduate from SCCC and return to their respective countries. And Martin will graduate in Galway, and return to the United States. Now I’ll let you in on a little secret. I plan to write to Martin and suggest he pursue a Long Island University master’s degree at SCCC in Riverhead. Imagine – the guy from “The West Wing” walking the eastern campus!