| Issue #48, March 9, 2007 |
Guy de Fraumeni’s Hollywod 1n The Hamptons
The Astronaut Farmer
I give thanks to the American way of life and its warm family values, for it assures me that McDonald’s and Wendy’s will always need a few good men. The way Hollywood is treating film critics, I may soon need a job. You have no doubt noticed that, to make box office pearls out of swine, they are denying critics access to some movies before release. Remember the pig-in-a-poke Snakes on a Plane that opened un-reviewed with lots of ballyhoo and managed to wallow in the rich, murky mud of box office winnings then sank the next weekend? The recent un-reviewed sow that made a very silky purse on the weekend was Ghost Rider, starring Nicolas Cage. But think, the outstanding number of current movies eligible for the “Razz Award as the Worst” may cancel out next year’s Globe Awards and so, what good are reviewer’s works? Judging the Worst of the Worst?
To The Number 23, I say, “23 Skiddoo!” There, I said it. This is yet another “arcane” appearance of the number 23. Jim Carrey, befuddled and ultimately transfixed by the number, stars in a dual role that has the audience muddled as whether to laugh or cry. He has proven to be an excellent dramatic actor (as well as an extremely annoying comedian) and although he takes these roles seriously, the film was written by Fernley Phillips and directed by Joel Schumacher, and presents so many questions, he’s as contrived as the numerology featuring 23. Did ya know? The Waco Massacre and Oklahoma City bombings occurred on 4/19. See how it all adds up…4 and 19 equal 23, get it? Oh, gosh, very spooky!
An ordinary day for ordinary dog catcher Walter (ordinary Jim Carrey) becomes a psycho–thriller when Walter’s wife Martha, (an ordinary Virginia Madsen) finds an old book, The Number 23 by Topsy Kretts. It’s no wonder Walter will get the batty on. He takes on the book’s hard boiled detective’s character, Fingerling, and his wife becomes the novel’s sexy femme fatale, Fabrizia (a stunning Virgina Madsen). Is Walter’s sea-sickening, obsessive-compulsive, 23 mania making a killer out of him? Is that the real Walter? Trippy editing, flashy scenes and designer styled images drown us in “mood” and, you are inundated with nightmarish violence and codes. Carrey knocks himself out but he should have stayed away from Number 23 even if the two R’s (13th in the alphabet) in his name add up to 26 and minus the letter C (3rd letter in the alphabet) the math makes 23! It’s all too scary.
Don’t you think that a rather benign rancher named Charles Farmer, farming in Story, Texas, and the loving head of a loving family can be as safe and sane as a 3-inch tall peach pie? You think so? Think again. This folksy character has plenty of nuts loose but not in his interplanetary rocket. The loose nuts have to be in his head ‘cause he’s building a space zoom-zoom in his barn and he’s ready to go-go-GO! The lead in The Astronaut Farmer could have only been portrayed by the movie’s “Most Valuable Player,” Billy Bob Thornton. Only he can make a somewhat believable person out of the mawkish, reeling-in-a-sugar-syrupy-orbit of niceness, mixed with the earnestness of a guy who’s convinced he can soar all on his own. Taking inspiration from Frank Capra’s regular fellas who buck the system’s power brokers, the Polish brothers, writer and director, have also seen Field of Dreams. No matter that the bank is about to take their ranch, or the FBI is investigating his purchase of tons of rocket fuel and the Federal Aviation Administration would shut down the barnyard NASA program – he will not abandon his childhood dream. Importantly, his lovely wife, the wonderful Virginia Madsen (see above as Jim Carrey’s wife and skanky sex-pot) is forever loyal and understanding, unlike his old air force buddy, the Colonel, played by un-credited Bruce Willis, who will abandon him. If another Bruce, Bruce Dern as his wise and technically adept father-in-law, is right there for him, almost as idolizing as Farmer’s children.
The entire cast and production and locations are as nostalgically American as a General Store’s calendar. The twin filmmakers, Mark and Michael Polish are old hands at Indie-quirky small town oddness that sniffs of surrealism. Their Twin Falls Idaho and North Fork quiver on pretty much the same terrain however, the Capra ground is more fertile for rousing platitudes.
Guy-Jean de Fraumeni is the producer/writer/director of award-winning European and American feature films. He has been a judge at Major Film and TV award competitions, including the Oscars, the Emmy’s and various film festivals. Sarah Halsey assists him.
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