| Issue #48, March 9, 2007 |
Police Blotter
Marijuana Cigarette
A man was arrested in Hampton Bays after police discovered a marijuana cigarette in his car. The man ended up spending the night in the joint.
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Cordless Drill
A worker at a home in East Hampton threatened another worker with a cordless drill. Police were called on a cordless phone, and the worker agreed to leave the property.
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Sleepy
A man in Hampton Bays was noticed to be asleep inside of a coffee shop. Police were called when the man refused to leave and continued to snore. The man left the shop and the storeowner agreed to only give the man extra caffeinated coffee should he come back again.
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Car Sitting?
A man in Sag Harbor who was hired to house-sit a residence thought that it might be fun to take the homeowner’s new Audi out for a spin with the sun roof open. After cruising around town, acting like a big shot, he parked the car and forgot to close the sunroof. As luck would have it for the poor fellow, the rain gods showed no mercy and soaked the entire interior of the expensive vehicle. The homeowner found out and called the police. The house sitter was charged with unauthorized use of a vehicle and criminal mischief in the fourth degree. As part of the young man’s plea bargain, police are ordering the man to read the children’s book, If You Give A Mouse A Cookie every weekend to school children for the next year.
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AJAX!
A man on the North Fork was caught driving recklessly by a police officer. When the man pulled over, he jumped out of his vehicle and fled the scene. The officer let his dog, Ajax, chase after the man and he was able to tackle him to the ground. The man was arrested for unlawfully fleeing from a police officer. Officer Ajax at the scene was quoted, “Ruff, grrrr, RUFF RUFF.”
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Hot Chocolate Trouble
Police were called when school children were seen selling hot chocolate on the side of the road in Sag Harbor. A passerby called the police when he felt that the children were too close to the road, or so he claims. My guess is that he called police because he bought a cup of hot chocolate and found it to actually be Ovaltine.
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See You Then!
Police arrested a woman in Southampton for being a completely incompetent. After her house caught on fire, the woman drove her car over the firefighters hose, disrupting the flow of water. She then exited the car. She also disobeyed directions from the firefighters, who still managed to extinguish the blaze. She was arrested for obstructing governmental administration. Fire fighters told her they would see her next Tuesday to check up on her.
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Le Pu
A Southampton man called police after he noticed somebody withdrew $1,100 from his checking account from a location in Europe. Police have contacted Sherlock Holmes to get on the case.
– Written and Compiled David Lion Rattiner.
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