East Hampton airport is now to become a huge billboard. Last week, the East Hampton Town Board approved an advertising relationship between the airport and a company called Luxury Media Partners so advertising could be sold at the airport in the form of ads on benches, cups, toilet paper, tickets and even the Tarmac. Okay, maybe not toilet paper. But that's not far off.

The airport, which relies heavily on grants from the Federal Aviation Administration, could use the extra income from the advertising and is looking forward to the money they are hoping to get. Polo, meanwhile, is meeting with LMP to discuss the possibility of advertising there. The cost involved could run into the millions.

However, this little venture will not happen without problems. First and foremost, the advertisements can't get out of control. When you consider some of the racy ads involving beautiful women half naked, you might want to reconsider putting them on the tarmac.

Don't worry about a conversation like this happening. The Town Board is in control of which advertisements get placed on the tarmac. In a way, you could say that any advertisement on a runway would seem a little out place. Nevertheless, they are putting a stipulation into the advertising campaign, which basically is a control feature that says, if the ads are not up to par with the class of the Hamptons, the ads can't run.

If you think about it, this is really the first time that big-name luxury companies have ever been able make a legitimate billboard advertising deal in the Hamptons, outside of renting a store on Main Street and operating at a loss because of high rent. This has been because of the strict rules that the Hamptons implements on billboard advertising. Not in our town, they say, we can't have giant billboards everywhere -- it would ruin the landscape. The airport, however, is a different situation. Why stop there?

All the houses in the Hamptons should have advertising. Think of the impact that would have. Every major estate in the Hamptons could be painted big-name companies' logos and their rooftops converted to ads as well. Martha Stewart would jump at this.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking the town doesn't really benefit, only the homeowners do. Well, I got you covered. The lifeguard stands. All the lifeguard stands in the Hamptons could have ads. Right above where it says "Lifeguard On Duty" could be an ad for Gucci sunglasses. We could even have all of the cars in the Hamptons advertise something, like say, BMW -- they could advertise their cars on cars that drive out here.

Wait a second. Oh man, I am a genius.

BMW should give every person that lives in the Hamptons a BMW! I'd sign up for that in two seconds. Can you imagine the impact that advertising campaign would have, if all of the cars in the Hamptons were BMWs? It would be huge! It would make national news! Especially if they gave 530i convertible hardtops out, in black. Have a Hampton address? You get one, it's part of the package. This could be a huge campaign and it really wouldn't cost all that much, just a couple of thousand free BMWs. I'd even be willing to sign a contract that forces me to drive in my sweet ride with the top down every single day.

I'm on it now. We should brand Hamptons people. Nearly all of us out here get our picture taken for something. All the clothing companies should pay us to wear THEIR clothes. It makes sense, because then other people would see us and be like, ohhh, I want to be like those Hamptons people and then they'd buy the clothes in the stores. I'm starting a company -- Hamptons People Branding. Get me Ralph on the line.