A North Fork Working Vacation

Come To The North Fork And Tour A Vineyard, Then Wash Some Dishes

By Phyllis Lombardi

Let me tell you this. I’ve absolutely no trouble hiring help. For a fresh-baked corn bread, my husband will do almost anything I ask of him.

Not everyone is so fortunate. The East End is in real trouble – I’ve been reading that business owners are “frantically” seeking replacements for Irish, Jamaican and Dominican workers who will not be able to get summer work permits this year. Something to do with a permit called H-2B. When things get high-tech like that, H-2B, I tend to stop reading and just look for a solution. I think I have one.

I really hope it works. Not just for my North Fork but for the South Fork too. Listen to this. Montauk Chamber of Commerce spokeswoman Keri Lambert said there are about 500 summer jobs that will not be filled in the Hamptons. That’s a pretty snazzy area on the South Fork, I hear. Keri said, “A labor shortage of this magnitude will have a potentially disastrous impact on the East End’s economy.” Whenever someone uses a big word like magnitude, I get nervous. That’s why I looked for a solution. I’m gonna call it the Vacation Corps.

Now everybody’s heard of the Peace Corps. Maybe you even joined it. My cousin Diane did. She and her husband Bob spent years in Malawi back in the 60s. And while it was no vacation, for they worked hard there, it was a change of pace, an adventure. Isn’t that what a vacation is?

More recently, there’s that Habitat for Humanity. Not a vacation either. You go and you build homes for people who need ’em. But I bet you drink lemonade and laugh as you hammer and saw. Lemonade and laughter sound like vacation to me.

So here’s what we’ll do. We’ll work up a Vacation Corps. For North Fork residents who want a vacation but after three or four days of vacating they get restless. They want to do something real. After all, how much “afternoon tea on a veranda overlooking the bay” can you drink? Or how much trekking from gift shop to gift shop can you stand?

First, Vacation Corps directors will determine which businesses on the North Fork need seasonal workers. I think of restaurants, motels, stables, beaches and vineyards. I’m sure I don’t have them all but it’s a start.

Next comes the opportunity to volunteer for the Vacation Corps. Your two-week’s room and board will be covered (that could be a year’s salary for some of us on the North Fork) and all you have to do is work a four-hour day in your chosen business. The rest of the day you do what you’d normally do on vacation. This is really brilliant, I think. The labor problem is solved and vacationers aren’t bored out of their skulls because they’ve got real work to do.

Some specific examples? Well, they’re all on the North Fork but South Fork people are clever enough to follow our lead, I’m sure.

My first idea would be the Indian Island restaurant at the golf course in Riverhead. I believe people would love to work in its kitchen in exchange for room and board for two weeks. You could work, learn, and sample at the same time. They have stuff like croustade and coulis on their menu. Not just meat and potatoes! I can’t give you the name of the restaurant at this point. Too early in Vacation Corps negotiations.

Then there’s the Shady Lady on the way to Greenport. They need a few housekeepers. Don’t most of us pull up our blankets every day? And we do know how to clean our bathrooms. Although I confess I never fold the first sheet of toilet tissue into a perfect triangle. But I could learn. So we can do this job for four hours a day. A Vacation Corps experience seems more and more attractive.

Except, perhaps, for this next situation. There are quite a few stables on the North Fork and they all need mucking out. When you think about it, though, it’s not so bad. If you changed your children’s diapers for any number of years, two weeks in a stall doesn’t seem so awful. Four hours a day will leave you with plenty of time to trot all over the place. Remember, no room, board, or riding fees.

Think the Vacation Corps will catch on? I hope so and I hope you’ll join us on a North Fork vacation. If not, I’ll send you a postcard. “Having a wonderful time. Wish you were here.”