Police Blotter, May 6, 2011


A man in East Hampton reported that his Xbox had been stolen from his house along with all of his video games. The man no longer has an excuse to stay inside and play video games all day. His girlfriend is hoping that police catch the burglar, so that she may personally thank him.

An Official Genius

A woman in East Hampton called police after she was asked for her banking information by a strange man who told her that she just won millions of dollars in a contest. The woman was able to give a description of the man and a name.

Shelter Island

Old Man McGumbus, 97, and former World War II criminal interrogation specialist, was recovering from his recent double hip surgery in his home and injured his shoulder while holding a sign that read, “GO HOME HIPPIES!” which he was holding outside of a store on Shelter Island that just opened called, “Skinny Jeans and Graphic T-Shirts.”


A man in a Dodge Durango pulled up to a gas station in East Hampton, filled up with about 20 gallons of gas, and then just pulled away. The gas station attendant was able to give a description of the man and the vehicle. The man told the gas station attendant that he would come back with the money for the gasoline but he never did. The price for 20 gallons in East Hampton at today’s gas prices is roughly $3.6 zillion.

Copper Piping

The manager of a popular artists retreat in Napeague called police to report that copper piping had been stolen from the property.


A man was arrested after police found him engaged in a physical altercation with his ex-girlfriend in her driveway. The fight broke out over the man being upset about an upcoming court date…in which he is accused of punching his ex-girlfriend in the stomach and on her legs. A witness at the scene tried to stop the man and ended up involved in a physical altercation with him that escalated until police arrived.


A Hampton Bays nightclub manager along with four bartenders were busted by police officers in a sting operation that caught the club serving alcohol to minors at the nightclub.

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