The Hamptons Subway

Week of June 18-24, 2011

Week of June 18-24, 2011
Riders this week: 9,412
Rider miles this week: 101,544

Hampton Subway Commissioner Aspinall is asking everyone to keep an eye out for a subway car that has gone missing.  It had been added to the back to make up a five-car subway train at the Montauk Yards by the dispatcher and left the yards at 7:49 a.m. last Thursday for its full 90-minute rush hour run out to Westhampton Beach and back on schedule. But when the train returned and was turned around for a second scheduled run at 11:14 a.m., there were only four cars to the train.

Alerts immediately went out to all points to be on the lookout for this last car, particularly if it had come unhooked but remained on the tracks, it could have been hit from behind, with disastrous effects to the passengers in it. [expand]

However, as it turned out, there were no other problems anywhere on the line either then or since. The car is easily identified because it has a long scratch down its left side made about four months ago by some angry passenger who “keyed” it with his car keys at some point. It also bears the number CAR NUMBER 82 on the front and back, just below the light.

The motorman who drove the train that morning, which was train #11, said he did not hear anything unusual while taking the train out but did notice that up in Noyac, late in the run the train seemed to accelerate faster than it had been doing earlier when he stepped on the gas. Other than that he noticed nothing unusual.


Hampton Subway has learned that 17 local residents did not show up at their respective places of work last Thursday morning and police have issued a missing persons report for them, but have also called us because all of them apparently take the Hampton Subway when they go to work.  This is just a coincidence, of course, but we thought we would pass it along.  For a complete list of the passengers, call the Suffolk County Detective Agency and ask for Linda.


Three local residents have filed lawsuits about the subway ventilation gratings on the sidewalks of our downtowns that let the air in and out of the subway platforms below. One is from a woman named Harriet Mallow-Cohen from Amagansett who says she caught her high heels in one of the gratings in Hampton Bays one day back in 1998, thus twisting her ankle.
Another is from a man named Jonathan Billings of Quogue who says he was able to hear people on the platform below talking to one another on June 4, 2003, and the conversation had much obscene language which offended him greatly.

A third lawsuit was filed by Oscar Dellbenevina of Sag Harbor who says that during a snowstorm on January 3, 1997, somebody above pushing a snow shovel caused snow to come down through the grating to hit him on the head and he has had headaches to this day.


A man was found walking through the subway tunnel between Noyac and North Sea carrying some sort of electronic device.  Spotted by a motorman, subway police arrested him at which time he claimed that the electronic device, which was about four times the size of a cellphone, was actually a time travel machine. He was taken to Southampton Hospital for observation.


The big food and wine event called Dan’s Taste of Two Forks will take place on Saturday night, July 16, in Bridgehampton at the Horse Show Grounds on Snake Hollow Road beginning at 6:30 p.m. for V.I.P.s and 7:30 p.m. for regular admission.  Attendees will receive the bounty of more than 35 restaurants and more than 30 wineries all evening, with the cost per ticket $150 regular and $225 V.I.P.   Moneys raised will go to all our local food pantries through the Have a Heart Community Trust.

Hampton Subway hopes to participate in this event between 6 and 6:30 p.m. by providing waiters walking down the aisles of the trains offering trays of hors d’oeuvres as a sort of teaser to what will come later.  If the deal with Dan’s is worked out, we will tell you more about this in future newsletters.


I am as baffled as anybody as to how an entire subway car could have disappeared while on one of its regular runs last Thursday.  Had I not been in the South of France on that particular day, but had instead been in my office, I would have immediately run downstairs and hopped on the next train and found out what was going on, toot sweet you betcha. When we find this car, heads will roll. [/expand]

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