Where Is America’s Most Interesting Man In The World?

I’ve been thinking a lot about Vladimir Putin lately, and the entire reason is because I believe he is quite possibly the real life version of the “Most Interesting Man In The World” from the Dos Equis beer commercials.

If you didn’t get to see the pictures of Vladimir in The Atlantic, I highly, highly recommend that you check them out. There are pictures of him flying helicopters, putting out forest fires. There is a picture of him attempting to crush a pan with his bare hands. And there are other pictures of him riding horses, shooting guns and just in general, being almost exactly like the guy in the Dos Equis commercials, who is, quite frankly, my personal hero. [expand]

Putin is the President of Russia, and he’s making it look pretty cool to be President of Russia. If Putin was a social worker, he’d look pretty cool doing that too. I don’t know much about politics, but the guy is all things manly, he’s a hero for Russia to look up to, and, in my opinion, it’s a good thing for Russia.

I think that it’s about time that America got a person like this. We used to have them. Where did they go?

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and there really isn’t a well-known American adventurer right now. All of the adventurers that I can think of are either from another country, like Bear Grylls from England, or they are simply out of their minds, like the guys from “Jackass.” Even the fictional American adventurers like Chuck Norris, all sort of feel a little dated to me.

And while I admit that Les Stroud is a bit of a badass for being able to live in the woods and eat bugs, I just don’t think he is very charming, or, dare I say it, interesting.

If Vladimir Putin can be an interesting adventurer, then damn it, we can find somebody in America to fit the bill.

I’m serious here, we need an all-American guy, who is smart, thoughtful, a bit of an intellectual but also manly, that we can all say to ourselves, now that’s a cool dude. Harrison Ford sort of fit that bill with Indiana Jones, but I’m sorry, folks, that was a billion years ago.

Am I the only one who is noticing that this is missing from our great country? Where is the American most interesting man in the world? Even the guy in the Dos Equis commercials is from Spain.

We need a guy, a genuine guy, that travels all over the world exploring things and getting himself into adventures and doing it with style and representing the good ol’ U.S.A. Enough of this Jersey Shore nonsense. I’m getting tired of looking at the television and watching losers take the stage because it is funny to watch losers and drug addicts take the stage. We need the American guy who travels into the mountains and meets with locals there. We need the guy who jumps out of an airplane and lands on a jet ski and then dates the princess of a remote island off the coast of New Zealand. Where the hell is that guy? Russia’s got one, England’s got one, where the hell is the American guy that’s filling these shoes?

The Russians are winning the “most interesting man” race and America needs to catch up.

We need a guy who has some charm, who has some class, but who also will fly anywhere and do anything and do it with some style and some good old-fashioned Americana. Somebody who by nature, is kind of interesting, like a writer, somebody….

Like me.

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