The Golf Course For Everywhere

In these challenging times, our local municipalities, which encompass the broad range of cities, towns, villages, hamlets, etc. have to do whatever they can to help keep their heads above water. With this in mind, all ideas should be considered. We must also remember that when businesses thrive, so do the cities and towns they are located in. It is called trickle-down economics.

Everyone knows that golf is a big business. Myrtle Beach South Carolina, for instance, has built an entire economy on golf and golf-related activities. Tiger Woods is the second most recognized person on the planet, just behind Kim Kardashian. And what does he do…he plays golf. Ever heard of a couple guys named Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer?

Yes, golf may be the solution to deficit reduction. How, you ask? Now I don’t want to take away any business from the area’s great golf courses, but I have to help where I can. That is the essence of being a good citizen.

How about The Hamptons 18-Hole 184,286-Yard Golf Course? Why do all the holes at a golf course have to be back-to-back or even in the same municipality?

What if a round of golf started in Montauk and then continued elsewhere? Montauk would designate enough land to support a single hole of golf. It would be a long par-four that runs along the beach. Hook it and you are in the ocean. It would be spectacular.

After completion of that hole, the players would be chauffeured by limousine to the next hole, which would be in Amagansett. This par-five would be a dogleg left with deep sand traps strategically positioned around the green.

Back in the limo and now you’re on your way to Sag Harbor and a short but difficult par-three with a postage stamp-sized green.

Shelter Island would be next and it would obviously require an approach shot over the water. And from there the holes would continue as designed.

There was a suggestion that the last hole conclude with a required putt through a particular town windmill, but that would be a little hokey.

The opportunities for local businesses are endless. Golfers love to spend money. At each stop along the course, golfers will be allotted time to visit the local merchants, from the preferred merchant list, before playing the hole. I estimate that the course will play a bit long at 184,286 yards. It will take about 12 hours to play but that is of no real concern. You can never get enough golf.

Since each municipality will be donating the land for a hole, they will be entitled to a cut of the golf fees, which I estimate will be about $10,000 per person per round. This revenue will go a long way in reducing the deficits. The tax base will also be increased by virtue of the golfer patronage. The merchants will love it.

By the time the golfers have completed a round they will have been to 18 different municipalities. They will have experienced some of the most spectacular views and challenging golf in their lives.

I almost forgot the best part. At each hole, the players will be required to purchase and play only with golf balls bearing that municipality’s trademarked logo. These golf balls will cost $10 each (Literally, the municipalities will have the golfers “buy the balls.”).

Of course, each year a major PGA Sanctioned Tournament will be played on the course. Fed Ex and Cadillac already have their own events so it will be called The Dan’s Papers Open.

Important Note: Only those advertisers in Dan’s Papers will be considered preferred merchants and thus entitled to the golfer patronage ([email protected]). If by chance my golf idea doesn’t get off the ground, you will still be advertising in a great paper!

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