Hamptons Subway: Week of February 2 – 8, 2013

Nathan Lane
Nathan Lane

Riders this past week: 7,411

Rider miles this past week: 76,733



Seen riding together and telling jokes on the subway between Wainscott and East Hampton were Nathan Lane, John Alexander, Walter Isaacson and Mickey Straus, all of whom will be receiving Guild Hall Lifetime Achievement Awards at their annual gala March 4 at the Plaza in New York.



Don’t forget to watch the Super Bowl while riding the subway this Sunday. All day, cars will be equipped with TVs turned to the game.



The new observation cars, four of them, were involved in a terrible accident on their first test run around the Hamptons Subway system last Friday. I’m sure you’ve seen the TV commercials and newspaper advertisements telling of their imminent arrival. For a special fee, patrons of the subway would be able to climb up into the observation cockpits to look out through the glass and see the walls and ceiling fly by as they made their way to their destinations. The cars arrived at the subway yards at Montauk on Wednesday and were made ready for service. The yards are above ground (surrounded by chain link fences and barbed wire, of course), and after they were prepped, executives of Hamptons Subway, officials and other special guests together with honored staff members of the subway (they got seats in a raffle) boarded the trains and headed out toward Amagansett where, just where the tracks head uphill at the end of Napeague, they disappear into the tunnel.

Horribly, it seems the observation areas in all four cars were built two feet taller than they were supposed to be, and they all got sheared off on entering the tunnel. Fortunately, somebody had shouted “Hey!” just in time and everybody lay flat on the floor. When the train arrived in the Amagansett station, there was nothing but wreckage and broken glass and a lot of people injured but thank god not killed.


Hamptons Subway is pleased to announce that it’s hiring for 17 Hampton Subway posts, which have suddenly become vacant. People seeking these jobs will be of average intelligence or above, of either gender or color, a member of any religious group or none and of any racial or creed-like organization or be straight or gay. Hamptons Subway is an equal opportunity employer. Jobs are available as token booth workers, dieticians, flagmen, cafeteria workers, mailroom workers, secretaries, middle level executives, marketing apprentices, janitors, conductors and motormen.



Last Monday at 8:51 a.m., the subway doors on car three of train six froze shut at the Southampton station and failed to slide open. The weather at that time on the platform was
-9 degrees so this was understandable. Someone had turned off the heat on that platform and we are investigating. Blowtorches were used to break into that car. All trains were delayed 22 minutes. Some passengers in that car were scorched, but others were uninjured. People in subway cars both before and after needed trauma management assistance.



Following the accident during the new observation car’s test run, service was halted for four hours for cleanup. Until next week when we complete our hiring, trains will be running less frequently, at half time, which means double the wait time on the platforms for a train to come.

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