The Scoop

Local Board Meets to Consider Next Meeting About Future Meetings

A local East End municipal board will meet Tuesday to discuss next month’s meeting about community interaction and procedure at future meetings.

The six-member board, which is expected to be in full attendance, is encouraging various stakeholders in the community to use Tuesday’s meeting for information gathering, and as a place to start conversations and slow progress in anticipation of later discussions. “Please use this time to promote your personal agenda and suggest changes to current directives that will likely only benefit you and your own self-interest,” the East End Municipal Board announcement explains. “We will then consider those proposals and grievances and how to best delay future proceedings with your individual requests.”

Tuesday’s meeting about the March meeting will also allow at least one hour for community members and stakeholders to tattle on neighbors and share gripes about things that have little to no impact on their own lives, such as tree removal and lawn art, among many other issues. Further, this week’s meeting about next month’s meeting about future meetings will help the board open talks about how to best change existing municipal law or code, longstanding policies, and standard procedures to best accommodate the needs of one or two particularly vocal community members—especially if said changes will somehow benefit the children of those community members, and relieve all parties of any inconvenience, no matter how small.

“While the goal of Tuesday’s meeting about next month’s meeting about future meetings is to listen to our community stakeholders, we have also asked two of our board members to glare at those stakeholders and make passive aggressive comments where applicable,” the East End Municipal Board chairman explained. “All six members should also find time to argue amongst ourselves, though two of us will simply agree with everything and vote yes, regardless of their knowledge about each topic and issue.”

The East End Municipal Board will meet at 6 p.m. Tuesday, February 25 at East End Municipal Hall, and will reconvene on Tuesday, March 18 at 6 p.m. Future meetings will follow.

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