Top 5 Reasons Why the Real Hamptons Trumps the Revenge Version

Alec Baldwin owns Victoria Grayson, every time
Alec Baldwin owns Victoria Grayson, every time, Photos: Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images Entertainment/Thinkstock, ABC/Revenge

Revenge’s version of the Hamptons may be glamorous, but would you really want to live there? With annual disasters on or around Labor Day, a tyrannical family that appears to be holding something over every single person on the South Fork and a poor, working class interpretation of Montauk, viewers unfamiliar with the Hamptons must think this is a crazy place to live.

With this in mind, here are five reasons why the real Hamptons trumps the Revenge version.

5. The Graysons don’t actually rule the school
From the first season, we’ve seen Conrad and Victoria blackmail and strong-arm their way around the East End, from covering up car accidents to pinning terrorism plots on neighbors. While the real Hamptons does have its fair share of wealthy, influential families, there isn’t one to rule them all. And most of the influential people are quite popular and well-liked around here—just look at Christie Brinkley and Jerry Seinfeld! (Where are the local celebs on Revenge anyway?)

4. Labor Day doesn’t usually culminate in an incident that would be covered on CNN
Whether it’s Tyler’s murder or Jack’s boat exploding, something bad always happens on or close to Labor Day in Revenge‘s Hamptons. If only things were that exciting — most of the time, there’s a handful of celebrations, some great sales and lots and lots of traffic. It’s a bit of a hassle to get around on Montauk Highway, but at least a hot twenty-something isn’t marked for death. The most exciting real Hamptons Labor Day tradition? The staff of Dan’s Papers working double-time to deliver a giant-sized issue!

3. We have more options than the South Fork Inn for having an affair or secret rendezvous
The Hamptons offers dozens of bed and breakfasts, hotels and inns, if you’re in the mood to sex your secretary or talk dirty to your lawyer ex-wife. And local security is a lot better than the South Fork Inn — how many times has Emily broken into that place?!

2. There is more than just one “cultural arts board”
Arts and culture is alive and well in the Hamptons. From galleries such as Vered and Tripoli, and the Parrish Art Museum, to performing arts spaces like Bay Street and Guild Hall’s John Drew Theater, our cultural landscape has few rivals per capita. And Victoria has nothing to do with any of them.

1. Montauk is gorgeous
There are no slums in Montauk — and any clothesline or rundown shack is probably part of a rustic-chic photo shoot for Ralph Lauren. Montauk is a well known hotspot and hipster haven, with spots like Gurney’s Inn & Spa, Gosman’s, Sloppy Tuna, Shagwong and more. A real life Conrad Grayson would have no need to work on a Montauk restoration project.

Do you prefer the real Hamptons or the Hamptons a la Revenge? Let us know why in the comments below!

More from Our Sister Sites