Revenge Top 5: Real Hamptons Event Takedowns

Nolan and Javier at the Dan's Kite Fly, a la Revenge
Nolan and Javier at the Dan’s Kite Fly, a la Revenge, Photos: ABC, Dan’s Papers and Oliver Peterson

With takedowns (or attempted takedowns, at least) occurring at Memorial Day parties, July 4 celebrations, weddings, Labor Day gatherings, art gallery openings, casino nights and more, Revenge has showcased a lot of colorful fictional places and events in Season 3. For Season 4, though, we think the show should showcase some splashy takedowns at real-life Hamptons events. Here are a few ideas…

5. Dan’s Taste of Summer: Perhaps Emily decides to take down a chef who gave her father food poisoning in prison in exchange for Conrad setting him up with a fabulous restaurant and career. Emily arranges for Nolan to fudge the temperature on the chef’s seafood dish just in time for Conrad — who would conveniently be on the jury for GrillHampton — to try the grilled shrimp. As Conrad keels over from the bad food, the chef is ruined and banned from any future Dan’s Papers events.

4. The Hampton Classic Horse Show: Aiden learns that a police sketch artist purposefully drew a sketch of his father to make him the prime suspect in the Flight 197 bombing. In exchange, Pascal made the artist a star. When the artist becomes the official poster artist for The Hampton Classic, Aiden switches his poster with an undiscovered artist’s work and makes it look like it was intentionally stolen. The artist is publicly shamed at the big poster unveiling and runs off, falling into horse dung in the process.

3. Super Saturday: Margaux, who has broken up with Jack, is hosting (sorry, Donna Karan and Kelly Ripa) this annual fashion benefit and designer tag sale, along with Charlotte, who has gone from intern to exec in a matter of episodes. After learning that Jack was dumped, his mother Stevie (who is still recovering in California) makes a few phone calls and has Margaux’s dress laced with itching powder. Meanwhile, Charlotte is looking to take down Nolan to get Javier all to herself, and sets Nolan up to buy a fake designer suit.

2. Dan’s Kite Fly: In a stunning display of spectacle, Nolan and Javier create an electronic, talking kite that outshines all other Dan’s Kite Fly participants. The kite, which looks like a scarecrow, says aloud, “I’m Daniel Grayson. If I only had a brain!” causing Daniel to get angry and throw his potato salad at Nolan, which misses and hits Charlotte instead.

1. East Hampton Artists & Writers Celebrity Softball Game: Victoria finds out that an Oscar-winning screenwriter — who wrote a TV movie portraying her in a vapid, negative light — is going to appear at the annual artists vs. writers softball game. Victoria learns that local eccentric billionaire Derwood Hodgegrass is throwing the first pitch and convinces him to hit the writer in the head. Unfortunately, Derwood misses and hits Mason Treadwell (who has been exonerated), causing him to forget everything he knows about Emily and Amanda. You win some, you lose some…

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