The Hamptons Subway

Hamptons Subway Newsletter: Week of September 18–24, 2014

Week of September 18–24, 2014
Riders this past week: 14,817
Rider miles this past week: 87,933

DOWN IN THE TUBE
Philanthropist David Koch was seen on the Hamptons Subway on Thursday morning traveling from Southampton to Water Mill. He was carrying a reusable canvas shopping bag made from recycled fiber filled with numerous empty Coke cans that he said he was returning to get the 5-cent refunds.

RISE IN FARE COSTS?
Commissioner Aspinall is considering raising the fare for a ride on the subway from $2.25 to $2.50, but keeping in mind that we live in a democracy, he is asking that the riders decide. Next week, when you buy a subway card at the token booth, please press either the YES or NO button on the small metal panel set up in the little glass opening in the bulletproof window. Your vote counts. Aspinall says he will abide by your decision.

MOTORCYCLISTS ARRESTED
As you know, the subway spur that goes from Jobs Lane to Cooper’s Beach ends with an opening at the beach halfway up the dune and you have to take the stairs down to the sand. That stop, although closed now that the season has ended, has not been sandbagged shut yet for the winter and last Thursday at 2 a.m., three teenagers with motorcycles came roaring out the end to leap out over the stairs and out onto the beach where they proceeded to do several wheelies before driving off toward Water Mill. Our night shift subway security guard saw and reported this but failed to get the license plate numbers. If you know who did this, please call our office so we can arrest them.

SPECIAL THIS WEEK
As his first marketing promotion since taking over the job of marketing director here at Hamptons Subway, Alvin Alvinades is offering a free trip through the turnstile to each of the first five customers who come to a station selected at random first thing in the morning every Tuesday. That morning, one of his assistants will be at a platform different from where he had been the week before. But it will be a surprise so you won’t know which one it is.

This should create a lot of excitement. Just get there early; the doors open at 6 a.m. after the subway’s nighttime maintenance is done. Hope you get it.

OFFENDING ADVERTISING REMOVED
A company that will remain nameless bought advertising billboard spaces on one wall of all the platforms just past the turnstiles last week. Many people called to say they found the advertising offensive and not in keeping with either the subway’s policies or good taste, and we sent people out to have a look and they all agreed, so we gave the company its money back along with the shredded remains of the posters—our employees had to scrape them off because they were glued on—and we told them do not give us this sort of thing again please, and they said they would not. We will not divulge what the ads said, but if you are really curious, try to find someone who saw one during the hour and a half it was up and then you will know.

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE
We are going to have a “spooky walk” on Halloween night between 2 and 6 a.m. when the subway is closed for maintenance. The public is invited to dress up in costume and take that walk through all the tunnels, which will be open and free for everybody. Just come on down anytime after 2 a.m. What a great idea!

READ MORE HAMPTONS SUBWAY!

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