The Hamptons Subway

Hamptons Subway Newsletter: Week of July 25–31, 2015

Week of July 25–31, 2015
Riders this past week: 19,312
Rider miles this past week: 153,321

DOWN IN THE TUBE
Mel Brooks was seen riding from Southampton to Shinnecock last Saturday night around midnight reading the advertisements on the subway car walls. Justin Bieber was seen sitting next to Nancy Pelosi heading westbound between Water Mill and Bridgehampton on Thursday at 2 p.m.

CARS EXPANDING?
One of our six-car subway trains that left the Montauk Yards on Monday heading westbound at 8 a.m. had an unusual thing happen when it got to the Amagansett station at 8:20 a.m. When all six cars came to a halt, the last car did not reach the platform. It stuck out. This would have made sense if there were by mistake seven cars on that train, but they were carefully counted and there were only six. The problem seemed to fix itself by the time the train got to the East Hampton station where it fit the platform perfectly. Many investigators went to the Amagansett platform for the rest of the day to see if it would happen again, but it never did.

SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS UPGRADED
Beginning Tuesday morning, subway employees will be installing new surveillance cameras on all the platforms. The new ones shoot in color rather than in black and white, and most interesting, they make use of the new Augmented Reality technology so that those watching the tapes at 5 a.m. in the Hamptons Subway building computer room every day—which they do—can see bad guys not only sneaking up on you from behind, but also running away from you in front. The installation will take about five days, so if you want to do bad things, you’re best chance to get away with it will be during the next four days. A big yard sale of the old cameras, complete with all the video they took over the last three years, will take place next
week. Watch for the announcement.

PRANK ON THE HAMPTON BAYS PLATFORM
Two local teenagers took over the control booth on the platform in Hampton Bays at 3 p.m. last Monday afternoon, locked themselves in and changed the settings on one of the two escalators that lead down from the street there so that both escalators only took people down and the people already down could not get up. When they reversed this after 45 minutes, everybody down was sucked up but nobody new could get down. Our Subway police surrounded the locked control booth at 4 p.m. and stared at the two teenagers behind the glass windows for a while, until they stopped laughing, which is what they had been doing until that time. The parents of the teenagers were called and came in around 5 p.m. but it was not until 6 p.m. that the kids unlocked the door to face the music because, as they said, they were getting hungry.

RHINO ON THE TRACKS
A white rhinoceros, extremely rare, was found sleeping on the tracks between Noyac and Sag Harbor at two in the morning when the subway system shuts down for nightly maintenance. The two employees who came upon the rhino immediately got on their cell phones and called the authorities. A pest control outfit from Brookhaven arrived at the Noyac platform and an Animal Rescue outfit from Riverhead arrived at the Sag Harbor platform 20 minutes later. When they walked the tracks carrying flashlights toward one another to get to the beast in the middle, however, the rhino was gone.

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE
Strange doings this week. The board is meeting on Friday to study everything. Some think it’s a witch.

READ MORE HAMPTONS SUBWAY

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