Man Launched by Leaf Blower Returns Home, Haunted but Alive
A man who disappeared at the end of April 2016 after his powerful new leaf blower launched him “like a bottle rocket,” has returned home, albeit as a shadow of his former self.
Police investigators have confirmed that the man is indeed Silas P. Dirgible, who disappeared after he used a Super-Turbo Leafmeister 4000—the most powerful leaf blower on the market at that time. Dirgible, according to police, knocked on his wife’s door, arriving seemingly out of nowhere late in the evening on Friday. She barely recognized her husband.
“Silas was gaunt, bearded and unkempt,” Sherri Dirgible said, recalling the moment. “But his eyes were the worst—sunken, hollow and haunted, so, so haunted,” she continued.
Mr. Dirgible, police say, found himself injured and without memories somewhere in a desert on the other side of the world. While investigators are admitting how implausible the story sounds, they can confirm evidence that the man had been in several far-flung countries over the past year.
It took many months surviving on handouts and panhandling, but Dirgible eventually did regain his memory, police explained. “Upon finally realizing who he is, it took Silas a great deal of time and effort to get home. Of course he couldn’t remember his phone number or his wife’s name, or even his hometown, but these things did come back over time. His journey back here was no picnic—we can tell you that.”
Police will provide more details about Dirgible’s miraculous story in the coming weeks.