From The Paper
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The Hamptons Subway
Hamptons Subway Newsletter: 2020 Q1 Internal Audit Report
As the first quarter of every year comes to a close, the Hamptons Subway conducts an internal audit, portions of…
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Police Blotter
Artist Replaces $750K Smashed Rotting Pumpkin Piece in Sag Harbor
Sag Harbor gallery owner Rose Plátano finally has a new rotting pumpkin on her front porch. The art aficionado was…
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Dan Rattiner's Stories
It’s In the Bag: My Adventure with a Washed-Up Treasure in East Hampton
Walking my dog on Main Beach in East Hampton last Monday afternoon, I looked down to discover a small, flat,…
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Police Blotter
Hamptons Police Department Is Ferreting Out Crime, Literally
The Hamptons Police Department announced the addition of 14 highly trained ferrets to the force this week. All former pets…
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The Hamptons Subway
Hamptons Subway Newsletter: Week of March 20–26, 2020
Week of March 20–26, 2020 Riders this past week: 3,821 Rider miles this past week: 46,371 THE FINDING Every year,…
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Police Blotter
HPD SWAT Team Takes Down Hamptons Signage Offender
Hamptons Police Department SWAT officers raided a local office building last Saturday for “flagrantly disobeying signage laws” by displaying a…
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Dan Rattiner's Stories
Walking Dunes: The Daring Attempt to Climb All the Way to the Top
Who can forget Tensing Narsik and his climb up to the top of the Walking Dunes in Napeague? The year…
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Dan Rattiner's Stories
Onward and Upward in NYC: Tallest Building Battle Fears
In recent years, extremely tall and thin skyscrapers have sprouted up like blades of grass just south of Central Park…
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Police Blotter
Hamptons PD Chief Says He Deployed Submarine Early Due to Warmth Not Daughter’s Party
Hamptons Police Department chief Joe Ronson may elude prosecution or even a departmental reprimand despite launching the HPD’s nuclear submarine…
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Dan Rattiner's Stories
Hamptons Subway Newsletter: Week of March 13–19, 2020
Week of March 13–19, 2020 Riders this past week: 18,512 Rider miles this past week: 69,960 DOWN IN THE TUBE…
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Police Blotter
Hamptons Municipal Board Uni-ted Against Sea Urchin Sushi Hate
Hamptons Municipal Board treasurer Larry Hama Kowalcyzk found himself at the wrong end of public opinion this week for comments…
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Dan Rattiner's Stories
Sports Doldrum: The Long Wait from End of Football to Start of Baseball
I love watching baseball and football. For me, the NFL and MLB are our twin national games. I watch them…
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Dan Rattiner's Stories
East Hampton Airport Agreement: Helicopter Noise Problem Is at an End
Helicopters thunder across the sky. Corporate jets scream as they come down into their approaches. Twin-engine private planes howl as…
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Dan Rattiner's Stories
Beg Your Pardon: Presidential Reprieves and Southampton Bath & Tennis
Surely among the most controversial of all the folks who Donald Trump has pardoned or granted other forgiveness is former…
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Police Blotter
Hamptons Police Dept.’s Baby Cop Mascot Gets ‘X-Treme’ Reboot
Hamptons Police Department spokesman and decorated hero cop Rex Gallant is not one to accept failure or patiently await success.…
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The Hamptons Subway
Hamptons Subway Newsletter: Week of March 6–12, 2020
Week of March 6–12, 2020 Riders this past week: 37,423 Rider miles this past week: 88,913 DOWN IN THE TUBE…
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Police Blotter
Chaos Follows Literal Polar Bear Plunge in Sag Harbor
The Hamptons Police Department Animal Control Squad’s quick response team was called to Sag Harbor on Saturday after a series…
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Dan Rattiner's Stories
Me and the Bottle: Rainy Day Thoughts on Pellegrino and Bubbly Water
I sit at my kitchen table in East Hampton with an hour to kill, slowly drinking a bottle of Pellegrino.…
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Dan Rattiner's Stories
Official Seals: Good and Bad in East Hampton and Southampton Villages
The Village of East Hampton has come out with a new Village Seal. The old one, and I’ll get to…
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Dan Rattiner's Stories
Poop Bags: Rights and Wrongs of Following Your Dog Around with a Bag
When I take my dog out for a walk, I usually take her into town to prance along the sidewalk…
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Police Blotter
Depths of Corruption: Hamptons Police Dept. Chief Used Submarine for Daughter’s Sweet 16
Local officials and citizens were outraged after learning that Hamptons Police chief Joe Ronson pulled the department’s Virginia-class nuclear submarine,…
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The Hamptons Subway
Hamptons Subway Newsletter: Week of February 28–March 6, 2020
Week of February 28–March 6, 2020 Riders this past week: 38,422 Rider miles this past week: 109,434 DOWN IN THE…
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Police Blotter
Hamptons Parakeet Identifying as Piping Plover Earns Protected Status
The Hamptons Police Department Environmental Squad (HPDES) sent out an urgent bulletin on Monday to let citizens know that anyone…
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Dan Rattiner's Stories
Charting the Banana Gap: Price Disparity Is Growing in the Hamptons
Our usual breakfast includes a sliced banana on cold cereal. Because fresh bananas go bad after seven days, bananas are…
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Dan Rattiner's Stories
Terra Glamping Here: Luxury Camping at Cedar Point in the Hamptons
Last spring, I was told by a wealthy Hamptons resident that a Brooklyn firm was about to take over a…
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Dan Rattiner's Stories
Then & Now: Two Encounters on Cartwright Island in Gardiners Bay
Someone asked me the other day if I could give an example of how things have changed in the Hamptons…
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The Hamptons Subway
Hamptons Subway Newsletter: Week of February 21–27, 2020
Week of February 21–27, 2020 Riders this past week: 52,352 Rider miles this past week: 142,811 DOWN IN THE TUBE…
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Police Blotter
Hamptons Protesters Say Humans Should Not Play Dogs in Films
Dozens of East End residents were cited last week for resisting arrest and overcrowding two buses heading toward Hollywood, where…
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Dan Rattiner's Stories
Sending Messages: How Gardiners Island Communicated with Mainland in the 17th Century
Gardiners Island was settled in 1639 by an Englishman named Lion Gardiner, who bought it from the Montaukett Indians. He…
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Police Blotter
Hamptons Police Raise Money for Victims of Online Charity Scams
The Hamptons Police Department has launched a ComeSupportMe.com campaign to raise money for those ripped off by predatory campaigns on…
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