Hamptons Subway Newsletter: Week of December 17–23, 2016

Hamptons Subway Newsletter: Week of December 17–23, 2016

Week of December 17–23, 2016
Riders this past week: 24,318
Rider miles this past week: 123,987

DOWN IN THE TUBE
Our spotters were unable to locate any important people who used the Hamptons Subway this past week.

NEW TUNNEL FOR EXPRESS TRAINS
After nine years of construction, the 2nd Avenue Subway in Manhattan is about to open. Here at the Hamptons Subway, we don’t take so long to do things. For example, last week we completed the addition of an entire new tunnel for the express subway train service between Montauk and Westhampton Beach. Giving this train its own tunnel greatly speeds things up, since until now either the local or the express train had to go onto a siding to let another train pass. No more.

The new express train tunnel was completed in three hours and twelve minutes. Deep trenches were dug down to the Montauk platform and Westhampton Beach platform. Then, in Montauk, our new, 100,000 horsepower tunnel boring machine was lowered, switched on, turned 90 degrees so its muzzle would be facing Westhampton Beach, then fired off. With a thunderous roar that shook the earth, the booster rocket ignited and sent it rumbling off in high-speed corkscrew fashion under the earth beneath Amagansett and East Hampton, then farther on. Just three hours and change later, the subway boring machine, making this terrible racket, came to a halt underground, though 50 yards to the north of the Westhampton Beach platform. Subway riders can now walk along a narrow underground boardwalk path from the main platform to a small auxiliary platform for the express train. The aim for the boring machine was slightly off. But no matter. People will enjoy the billboard advertising between the two platforms, just as soon as we get the lighting in this walkway tunnel installed.

DELAY THURSDAY
Many passengers experienced a four-hour delay last Thursday at rush hour when a K Train engine battery cable came loose as it was leaving Hampton Bays. The K Train held up the AA Train behind it, and the AA Train, when started up a half hour later, almost collided with a D Train coming the other way. The D Train was derailed as a result and the Scoot Shuttle between Southampton and Bridgehampton had to stop on a siding with a car full of passengers for the duration of the day when the motorman found that the back end of the Scoot Shuttle was sticking out over the track blocking traffic.

Fortunately, the F Train, which following a route through an alternate universe, arrived at the stations right on time to make up for this.

SUBWAY CARD MACHINE MALFUNCTION
Last Sunday, the card-issuing machine behind the token booth at our East Hampton Station malfunctioned when someone gave it a little kick. Hundreds of yellow subway cards flew out to scatter across the platform and, as the passengers aboard the Scoot Shuttle were just arriving from the west, several people suffered minor injuries in the stampede which followed.

Most people, we know, gathered up cards because of our misfortune and considered it their lucky day. For you others, who knew what you were doing was wrong, we have to tell you that if the cards you found are not returned by the end of work on Monday, you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE
I would like to personally apologize to many of our straphangers who were inconvenienced because of the various delays on our system this past week. As I’ve said before and am now saying again—sorry.

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