Hamptons Police Thwart Protest Over Thrift Store Selling Online

Hamptons Police Thwart Protest Over Thrift Store Selling Online

Protests erupted Friday at an Hamptons thrift store when it was revealed that the management of the shop skims off the best donations and posts them for sale on an online auction site. The Hamptons Police Department was called to maintain order.

One irate protestor summed up the frustration felt by the noisy mob. “I come here every day to look at the junk—and most of it’s worthless—in the hopes that I’ll uncover a hidden treasure,” said the woman, who wished to remain anonymous. “Now I find out that, prior to putting this garbage on the shelves, they’re taking out the real goodies and selling them off to the highest bidder. It’s against the Laws of Thrift!”

The woman vowed to never patronize the thrift store in question ever again, but after the protestors had gone home and the thrift store was closed for the day, the same woman was spotted perusing the items displayed in the shop’s window.

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