Hamptons Police Blotter: Identity Theft

There were some wild police stories this week in the Hamptons. Old Man McGumbus nearly sank the Shelter Island Ferry, a cashier with sticky fingers, and a fake green card all made the Hamptons police blotter.



A woman from East Hampton was caught on camera stealing money from a register at the store where she works in Bridgehampton. The amount of money stolen was roughly $535. That’s one way to get a pay increase I guess.


Shelter Island

A former Shelter Island justice and her husband received probation after pleading guilty to identity theft and fourth degree grand larceny. The couple stole more than a million dollars from an 89-year-old woman from Water Mill, who suffers from dementia, over a four-year period. I literally just got sick to my stomach. Gross, just gross.


Windsurfer Saved 

A 68-year-old windsurfer from Center Moriches needed to be rescued off the coast of Robins Island in Peconic Bay last week. The water temperature was 40 degrees, the winds were traveling at 45 miles per hour, and the sea was roughly four to seven feet with swells. A rescue helicopter, the Coast Guard and police departments were all dispatched in the search. I don’t know whether or not to be impressed that a 68-year-old guy was out windsurfing in the middle of winter, or to be angry that so many taxpayer resources were wasted in finding this idiot.


Shelter Island

Old Man McGumbus, 106, and former World War II Navy pilot, was rescued by the Shelter Island Ferry while he was in the middle of his annual “Wintertime Swim Around Shelter Island For Charity.” McGumbus, who has been swimming around the island annually without a wetsuit for the last 40 years to help support his favorite charity, “Have A Heart For Machine Gun Owners” which raises money for automatic weapons owners who suffer from heart disease. In the middle of the swim McGumbus accidentally swam directly into the Shelter Island Ferry and knocked himself out. The Shelter Island Ferry Captain was quoted that he thought he had hit a whale, “And then I pulled out Old Man McGumbus. I couldn’t believe it!” McGumbus was revived by the captain, and after about 20 minutes of being wrapped a blanket, he continued on his swim. “That Old Man McGumbus is one tough son of a bitch.”


Fake Green Card 

A man in Riverhead was arrested and charged with carrying a fake U.S. green card. The man was asked to present his I.D. after he was pulled over for driving without a seatbelt and presented to them a forged U.S. green card. Kind of sad in a way, just goes to show how impossibly complicated the immigration issue is.

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