Hamptons Police Blotter: Out of Control Party on Shelter Island

For better or for worse, one of the largest parties in the history of Shelter Island got out of control, but that’s not all that kept the Hamptons Police Blotter busy this past week. A man with guts of steel walked into a jewelry store and made off with a haul. Halloween displays were pilfered. Workout equipment became a weapon. Yes, the Hamptons has more criminal masterminds than you might think…and they aren’t all from Wall Street.

Jewelry Thief

A man walked into a jewelry store on Main Street in Southampton and stole $3,400 worth of merchandise. To do this, the man distracted an employee and then reached into a display case and stole a pin made of diamonds, rubies and sapphires. His face was captured on video cameras and has been released to police.


A woman at a Hampton Bays supermarket was arrested after she allegedly scored $1,300 by altering customer refunds and pocketing the cash.

Trick or Treat

Following several reports of missing Halloween decoration displays, a man was arrested in Montauk early Sunday morning after police found 13 jack o’ lanterns, six bales of hay, two scarecrows and an inflatable Frankenstein monster in the back of his SUV. The man told police that he was only removing the items before the arrival of Hurricane Sandy to keep them safe and had planned to return them after the storm had passed.

Juice Monkey

A fight broke out between two men inside a Riverhead home and became extremely violent when one of the men used a 25-pound dumbbell as a weapon and hit the other man in the head. The dumbbell wielder was charged with
felony assault.

Shelter Island

Old Man McGumbus, 107 years old and former World War II sniper, was on day four of a planned seven-day event—the “Nurses, Angels and Cats Party” that was largely attended by adult entertainers from New York City and the Ukraine—at his private estate on Shelter Island when he was arrested on Sunday evening. Police had been alerted by an anonymous source that McGumbus attempted to prepay the $1.7 million bill for the party by placing the expense on the Shelter Island Economic Improvement Society’s tab.

Old Man McGumbus released a statement to the press after he was released from his jail cell on Monday night. “As chairman of the Shelter Island Economic Improvement Society, it is my duty to find creative ways to stimulate our town for local businesses. The Nurses, Angels and Cats Party brought young, hardworking people into our community, which we desperately need at this time of year. It’s this kind of cash infusion and creative thinking that will stimulate our local economy, stimulate our residents, and stimulate our local leaders.”



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