Hamptons Police Blotter: Dang It, Facebook!

This week in the Hamptons, crime paid well for a guy who clearly was paying attention on Facebook. And guess who ran into some trouble with a bus? It’s not Old Man McGumbus.

Dang It, Facebook

A man in East Hampton reported that his laptop had gone missing after somebody broke into his home. The man told police that on the day of the robbery he’d posted on his Facebook page that he was going away, and believes that was how the thief knew it was safe to break in. 

Bad Bus Driver

A woman in East Hampton reported that a bus driver was deliberately being abusive by yelling at her and abruptly moving the bus before she was able to reach her seat. Police advised the woman to complain to the bus company with the name of the driver.


Justin Bieber was booed off the stage while performing at a soccer event in Canada last week. Bieber responded to the boos by saying “I love you” and then left the stage. There wasn’t any crime related to the Hamptons. It’s just sort of funny.


An altercation broke out at a Southampton restaurant after an argument began inside the establishment, then eventually involved a large group of people fighting outside on the street. Police are investigating, but rumors that Justin Bieber fans sparked the incident are false.

Shelter Island

Old Man McGumbus, 105 years old and former international jiu-jitsu champion, was arrested on charges of disodorly conduct last week after he ordered 15 different drinks from BlackJava, a local coffee bar, and upon receiving the various lattés and cappuccinos immediately complained that none were to his liking and demanded that they all be remade. When the owner of BlackJava told McGumbus that he was not welcome at the restaurant anymore and asked him to leave, McGumbus threw a bottle of fox urine at the register, which shattered and created a smell that still lingers inside the coffee shop despite several cleanings.

Bad Teens

Three teenagers were charged with breaking and entering into three houses in Amagansett. The teens allegedly stole beer and liquor and also kicked in the door of one of the homes.


After not being able to get into a bingo party in East Hampton and getting into a fight upon hearing an inappropriate comment about a friend’s girlfriend, a man suffered a serious eye injury when he was assaulted with a belt buckle. Who knew that bingo elicited this kind of intensity?

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