Top 5 Hamptons Geography Errors on Revenge

Montauk on Revenge
Montauk a la Revenge, Picture taken by Jonathan McIntosh, 2004.

Last week, we went over the Top 5 Most Shocking Moments on Revenge. This week, let’s look at some of the show’s most glaring Hamptons geographical and place-oriented errors.

5. Suffolk County Memorial Hospital: This non-existent hospital is Revenge’s go-to spot for grave diagnoses, emergency births, failed open-heart surgeries and faked test results. It’s baffling that they don’t use Southampton Hospital on Meeting House Lane, especially since most of the characters live in Southampton. Curiously when Declan was in the hospital before succumbing to his wounds from the bomb Conrad set, he was rushed from Manhattan to Suffolk Memorial. That’s one fast airlift (and it would NEVER happen)!

4. Manhasset: Late in Season 1, we saw Emily and Nolan traveling to Manhasset, where they visit his aunt at her small home in the middle of the woods. I have an aunt who lives in Manhasset, and I’m pretty sure there are no rural wooded areas there. Most of this Nassau County town is filled with shopping centers, industrial parks and busy intersections. It’s actually not too far from Queens — a NYC borough Revenge has yet to even acknowledge.

3. Southfork Inn: This lovely inn has been home to various affairs, discreet meetings and interlopers trying to cause trouble — too bad its name recalls the setting of the Ewing family ranch on Dallas. Perhaps the Revengers could head to A Butler’s Manor Bed & Breakfast on North Main Street in Southampton, ranked the best bed and breakfast on the East End. Or, for an easy switch, use the Southampton Inn, which actually exists on Hill Street in Southampton.

2. Manhattan: Over the course of individual episodes, which take place during our traffic-heavy summers, characters go from Southampton to the Grayson Global Offices on Wall Street, back to Southampton for lunch and then back to Wall Street for the rest of the day. The show should be commended for being a little more realistic about the distance, and the grueling drive, this season, as Emily was banking on Daniel staying in the city for work so she could be alone at the beach house. A daily commute from Southampton to NYC is out of the question (especially during the summer), unless you’re a total masochist.

1. Montauk: Revenge’s version of Montauk is populated exclusively with blue collar, working-class folk. The show considers this hamlet in East Hampton Township the “poor side of town,” and Conrad announced plans to revitalize the dock as part of his gubernatorial campaign. When Victoria went to the Porters’ bar with Charlotte, she even dressed down in a white trash blue jumpsuit. They clearly never heard of Gurney’s Inn, Gosman’s Dock and Restaurant, Star Island or the Montauk Lighthouse. For shame, Conrad!

Cheapest house (excluding condos) currently listed for sale in Montauk: $699,000 for 2-bed/1-bath ranch

Share your favorite Hamptons location errors on Revenge in the comments section below. And don’t forget to read our Weekly Hamptons Revenge Recap on Monday! This week’s episode: Confession

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