Hamptons Subway Newsletter: December 6–12, 2013

Jon Bon Jovi bearing gifts on the Hamptons Subway
Jon Bon Jovi bearing gifts on the Hamptons Subway, Photos: David Shankbone, SweetSoulSister (deviantart), Diligentdogs (Wikimedia)

Week of December 6–12, 2013
Riders this past week: 9,412
Rider miles this past week: 101,787

Barbara Walters was seen traveling from Sag Harbor to Noyac on the Hampton Subway on Friday at 4 p.m. Jay Z was on the subway between Bridgehampton and Sag Harbor on Thursday at 7 p.m. Billy Joel was seen on the Hampton Subway traveling from Sag Harbor to East Hampton on Friday at 8 p.m. He was carrying a guitar. And Jon Bon Jovi was seen on the subway traveling from Quogue to Quiogue on Monday at 2 p.m. All were carrying Christmas packages plus, in Billy’s case, his guitar.

It may be hard to believe, but every day we find one or two subway swipe cards jammed in the turnstiles. This is supposed to be impossible to do, since when you swipe the card, you keep the card, but there it is. At 2 a.m. every night when the subway system shuts down for maintenance, these cards are removed and brought up to our headquarters building in Hampton Bays in envelopes. So far, since we changed over from coins to swipe cards, we’ve assembled 22 sacks of envelopes containing swipe cards. What to do? We’re holding an auction! It will take place on Christmas Day in the cafeteria of our building at 2 p.m. Some cards will work, some not. You’ll find out when you open the sack you’ve won. It’s Christmas at the Hampton Subway building on Ponquogue Avenue in Hampton Bays. Ding dong. And there’s plenty of free parking.

Ellen McKensie, a dietician in the cafeteria in company headquarters celebrated her 40th birthday last Wednesday. Friends took her out to celebrate the occasion at her favorite place, a Tex-Mex sports bar on County Road 39.

Also as of next week, in all our stations, the speed of all our down escalators will be raised by 2 miles an hour so latecomers running to the trains can get to them faster. A thicker handrail is also being installed. The increase is being made possible by a new high-test gasoline we are now using in our down escalator generator engines.

Beginning next Thursday, you will be able to not only buy newspapers and magazines at our newsstand kiosks, you’ll also be able to download them. Each newsstand is being equipped with a small box with a USB port you can plug in your iPad or laptop. A menu will appear on the screen and you can tap or click on any magazine or newspaper icon you see there and “zip,” it will come down to your screen to read. The box will be found on the side of the newsstands. The newspapers and magazines are exactly the same as the ones you get in the front. When they add a new magazine, you can get that too. There is no charge for this service. Eventually, it is hoped this box will replace the tiresome business of having to pay for physical magazines. There will be no need to take out your wallet, to find change or even speak to the newsstand operator. And of course there will be less mess.

The Zip Boxes, as they are called, are a product of a Japanese firm with an unpronounceable name but we though to report it first before they go into effect.

Commissioner Aspinall is home sick this week so did not file a report. It is nothing serious he says. Not to worry.


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