Hamptons Subway Newsletter: Week of January 24–30, 2014

Hamptons Subway celebrated a gay wedding this week
Hamptons Subway celebrated a gay wedding this week. Cake topper from yacanna.com, Tunnel: Flowizm on Flickr

Week of January 24–30, 2014
Riders this past week: 8,911
Rider miles this past week: 84,323

Wall Street’s Ken Lipper was seen heading east on the subway on Monday morning leaving Wainscott and heading off to meet someone at the new Georgica stop. Rosanna Scotto was seen on the Hamptons Subway on Friday afternoon leaving Eastport and heading west toward Westhampton Beach. She was reading a script. Jason Kidd was seen bouncing a basketball on the subway between Southampton and Bridgehampton late last Sunday night. Madonna and Matt Lauer were in conversation on the subway talking about horses between Noyac and Sag Harbor on Tuesday at 4 p.m.

We’d like to refresh our riders about the rules and regulations regarding the sliding doors on the subways. We don’t want another incident such as we had on the morning rush hour last Monday when one of our riders unfortunately lost a limb. The recorded announcement says “watch out for the closing doors” when a train at the station is about to depart. Five seconds later, if the doors can’t close, they reopen and the announcement “watch out for the closing doors” repeats. Three seconds after that, the doors will try to close, and if unable to do so, will again reopen. Three seconds after that, the closing doors will try to close a third time, and if unable to do so, will reopen. Then three seconds after that, the sliding doors will close no matter the consequences. We cannot delay the trains more than this number of seconds.

Gerald Foxworthy, our Hamptons Subway historian laureate, has written a free pamphlet documenting the films that Hamptons Subway has appeared in. Perhaps the most well known is Throw Mama from the Train (1987). And perhaps the second most well-known is Michael Jackson’s music video Beat It (1982) from his album Thriller. Other films the subway has appeared in are the 1990 documentary Subway: The Empire Beneath New York’s Streets (Hamptons Subway was used as a stand-in for the New York Subway System), also Subway Stories (1997), Subway to the Stars (1987), and Subway (1985). Other movies include The Bourne Conspiracy (2008), Black Swan (2010), The Devil and Miss Jones (1941), Dirty Harry (1971), Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995) King Kong (1933), The Matrix (1999), Sliding Doors (1998), Speed (1994), and Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988) Hamptons Subway has received three Emmys and four Academy Award nominations for best set dressing, but never has gotten the Oscar.

Hamptons Subway is working on a solution to the occasional problem of trains plunging into darkness when they go into a tunnel. The lab workers at our Hamptons Subway headquarters building on Ponquogue Avenue in Hampton Bays are fiddling with voltaic solar panels.

Bob Harrisberg and Henry Allenfaddle, two men who met as flagmen in the Hamptons Subway tunnels, will enter into wedded bliss in a ceremony on the Southampton platform next Monday at 1 p.m. Be alerted.

Several of our spurs are shut down during the winter. I’m referring to the East Hampton and Southampton to the beach shuttle spurs. We’ve had problems recently with people climbing up the back of the beach and going into the tunnels there to sleep or do other unmentionable things to one another in there. We are locking the doors so this can’t continue.

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