It appears that there has been an unintended consequence to the recent release of lions into the Hamptons. And it is a proving to be a bonanza for one East Hampton woman.
It is widely known that in an attempt to reduce the overpopulation of deer, male lions were recently transported from Africa and subsequently released into the Hamptons. It has now been confirmed by Ms. Abernathy of East Hampton, that her 5-year old house cat Missy Pants has given birth to four healthy cubbens. A cubben is a cross between a lion and a common housecat (cub + kitten = cubben).
What makes this event so extraordinary is that outside of laboratories, there is no known case of a lion having successfully mated with a house cat. To this, Ms. Abernathy responds, “My Missy Pants is not just an ordinary cat. She weighs in at more than 30 pounds and has always had a voracious appetite when it comes to intimate relations.” She goes on to say, “I watched the whole thing from my window. This young male lion just wandered up to the house and after a little bit of an introduction period, they were copulating right there on the front porch”.
The cubbens were delivered via cesarean section by Dr. Pernith of Southampton. In an exclusive interview with DansPapers.com, he indicated, “I knew it was going to have to be a c-section all the way. The cubbens are huge. No way they could have gotten through the birth canal.”
Dr. Pernith added, “I guess we should have anticipated things like this might happen when they decided to release only male lions.”
It is projected that thousands of members of the media, from all over the world, will be descending upon the Hamptons in the coming weeks. Ms. Abernathy has indicated that she will be hosting private showings of the cubbens for $50 a head. For an extra $75, visitors will be able to actually hold a cubben. She is offering fellow Hamponites a 10 percent discount.
It’s crazy to think that what started as a simple effort to reduce the deer population on the East End, has now resulted in the first reported natural birth of a cubben. But stranger things have happened in the Hamptons.