The Hamptons Subway

Hamptons Subway Newsletter: June 19–25, 2015

Week of June 19–25, 2015
Riders this past week: 23,821
Rider miles this past week: 187,812

DOWN IN THE TUBE
Rachael Ray was seen on the Subway heading for Montauk from Amagansett at 6 p.m. Monday. She was carrying a wok. Bill Murray and Senator Al Franken were on the Subway bound for Sag Harbor from Bridgehampton telling each other jokes and laughing on Sunday afternoon. George Stephanopoulos came down to the platform in Bridgehampton late Tuesday afternoon, but then went back up.

SPECIAL NEEDS SUBWAY BEGINS
People with claustrophobia who still want to ride the Hamptons Subway can use the Hamptons Subway bus, which, beginning on July 1, will be stopping at all the stops down underground but up on the street above. Look for the bus that says “Hamptons Subway” at street level stair entryways at 20-minute intervals all summer long.

The speaker system on board says “approaching Water Mill stop” when it comes to Water Mill. And after it stops, it says “watch out for the closing doors,” (with an “s”) when it is about to leave. There’s even a turnstile when you get on the bus, that you can go through when you slide your subway pass through the slot.

FIREWORKS JULY 4
Thanks to a large donation from an anonymous donor, fireworks will be fired off at exactly 9:30 p.m., which is when night falls, on Saturday July 4 underground on all 14 subway platforms. No trains will be running between 9:30 p.m. and a quarter to 10 p.m.

All subway travelers, no matter where they are on the system at that time, should remove their hats, put their hands over their hearts, and think good thoughts about the United States of America when the lights dim and then go black everywhere—in the tunnels and on the platforms. When the display is fired off, put a handkerchief over your nose and mouth to protect yourself from the smoke and sparks until the fans clear the air. It would also be advisable to stand perfectly still during the ten or so seconds of darkness before and after the fireworks until the lights come back on. We don’t have to remind you of the dangers of the third rail. And we certainly don’t want to have happen what happened last year. The event is free, except for the cost of the subway credit card swipe at the turnstiles.

ROGUE TRAIN RUNS AMOK
Apologies and thanks to all our riders for their patience during the early morning one hour system-wide disruption of our service last Thursday morning. Hampton Subway was paid handsomely by an advertising agency to allow them to have one of our oldest subway trains all dolled up with the word COORS on its side (and white dry-ice smoke pouring from under its chassis) as it made its rounds for the 10- minute rental at 55 miles an hour which by fast motion filming they would speed up to look like 110. (They have a special way of doing that.) Unfortunately, the accelerator stuck on the lead car and the train actually did that for an hour until finally it got lassoed by a man on a horse and got brought under control. Our hat is off to our employees who, once the train speeded up, immediately ordered all trains off the express tracks and onto the local tracks for the duration in order to avoid what surely would have been a bad day.

Those who have seen this advertising footage say it is “awesome.” Watch for it at the next Super Bowl.

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE
I have no message this week.

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