Over the past five months, during the time from August until late December, I surveyed visitors who had dined at various restaurants in the Hamptons. It was my intention to analyze these impromptu reviews and then, without naming individual restaurants, write an article with various recommendations that might result in local eatery revenue appreciation.
As I concluded my research, it became evident that there was not too much to complain about when it comes to dining in our area. There is great pride among local offerings and it’s evident our establishments aim to please.
However, I still recorded several comments that were interesting enough to present here.
Ben: “We are from Pennsylvania. I have to say that our stay was lovely, with the exception of the fact that we could not find any breakfast establishment that served scrapple. What do you people do with the hog renderings around here if you ain’t serving scrapple?”
Sarah: “We have two young children and the restaurants we patronized did not offer Tang. If it was good enough for the Astronauts, it should be good enough for the Hamptons.”
Don: “Couldn’t find a single joint in Southampton that served S.O.S. As a retired military man, cream chip beef on toast is a must for breakfast.”
Robin: “Could someone tell me where my husband and I could get a good Spam sandwich? Spam is the most popular meat in the world. Maybe it’s not fancy enough for the Hamptons?”
Mason: “All I wanted was an order of Vienna sausages with some yellow mustard on the side. You would have thought I was ordering monkey brains. As culturally diverse as the Hamptons claims to be, you would expect to find food from Austria.”
Henry: “Being from the South, I ordered a Poke Salad. The waiter looked at me with the same look as my dog when I ask him to fetch me a beer from the fridge. I ended up with a garden salad. Doesn’t compare to Poke.”
Karen: “Being from St. Louis, I was looking for a St. Paul sandwich. Very disappointed to find that they are scarcer than hen’s teeth around your parts.”
Bernard: “Middle of August and we had to wait 45 minutes for a table. The line to get in the restaurant was very long. The food was amazing but they need to do something about so many people wanting to eat there.”
Henrietta: “Brought the travel trailer down from Vermont for the Labor Day Weekend. That one place we went to in East Hampton didn’t even start serving dinner till 5pm. Bill and I like to eat our dinner at around 3pm. To top it all off, they didn’t even have senior specials. No AARP discount. Next year we will be bringing our own vittles from home.”