The Hamptons Subway

Hamptons Subway Newsletter: February 20–26, 2016

Week of February 20–26, 2016
Riders this past week: 7,412
Rider miles this past week: 83,511

DOWN IN THE TUBE
Jon Stewart went down to the Sag Harbor platform, then turned around and went back up the stairs to the street on Friday at about 11 a.m. John and Margo Catsimatides, carrying shopping bags, were seen taking the subway from Quiogue to Westhampton Beach on Sunday.

LOGO CHANGED
The new Hamptons Subway logo was unveiled simultaneously on all the subway platforms last Saturday afternoon. The new logo has the word “SUBWAY” in big letters on it, but the word “Hamptons” has been removed. The graphic designers we hired to do this work say that the word “Hamptons” is unnecessary since everyone who can see the sign knows they are in the Hamptons because they’d have to be in the Hamptons to see it. The designers, as a sort of compromise, did put a side view silhouette of a subway car under the word SUBWAY. We’ll just have to see where this goes, but early riders say the silhouette looks something like a foot-long sub sandwich. It makes them hungry.

TIME WARP
Riders are asked not to look outside the subway cars when going between Bridgehampton and Water Mill because a recent tear in the time continuum fabric between those stations has resulted in problems. For example, employees of Hamptons Subway encountered members of the Lewis and Clark expedition being led by Indian guides walking along the tracks here. They asked if they were heading west. They also had pack mules with them which they did not clean up after after they did their business. All in all, it was pretty upsetting until the expedition faded out and disappeared into another tear in the fabric.

1% SURVEY HAPPINESS
The results of the 2016 Subway Service Survey are in. Although it is called 2016, it actually covers the period between January 1 and December 31, 2015. According to the graphs, exactly 1% of our riders checked off that they are “satisfied” with the service. We are very proud of this. No one has yet stepped forward to say they were that person, but when they do, and we think it will be soon, we will shower them with gifts, including the popular subway gift card good for one month of free subway rides beginning March 1 and then ending on March 31, but then expired if not used before that. Also, they have to be used on a Monday. And after 6 p.m. Congrats to all who entered.

ROUTE CLOSINGS
The A train local will not service Sagaponack, Wainscott and Georgica heading eastbound next Tuesday between 1 and 5 so we can do some unusual repair that needs to be done on the track there. Take the B train, the Express, going eastbound from Bridgehampton to East Hampton and then at East Hampton cross over and take the westbound A service for Georgica, Wainscott and Sagaponack. Or postpone your trip until after 5 p.m., or the next day, in case the repair runs over.

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE
Last week during the big snowstorms we asked all passengers to please take off their galoshes and boots when they come down to any of our platforms and leave them there lined up until their ride ended. Although we expected all the footwear to be picked up—people begin and end their journeys at the same station after they’ve got where they have to go, of course—that did not happen. We now have 1,132 boots and galoshes, all singles, at our Hampton Bays headquarters building waiting to be picked up by anyone who can come in with the other foot.

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