In a stunning development, a computer programmer believed to be responsible for hacking into the Democratic National Committee’s computers and possibly influencing the 2016 presidential election was taken into custody at a house in Amagansett on Thursday. Federal agents made the arrest.
“The man, who was discovered sitting on a bed in his parent’s house, was extricated with some difficulty due to his extreme obesity,” a spokesman for federal law enforcement said. “Agents had trouble getting into his bedroom because it was piled high with cake boxes.”
Half-eaten chocolate cakes littered the man’s bed—“the most beautiful chocolate cake I’ve ever seen,” the spokesman noted.
According to the man’s parents, the cakes have been arriving on a daily basis from an address in Florida, and the hacker had experienced rapid weight gain since November.
“I swear he must weigh 400 pounds,” noted one agent.