Hamptons Police busted Southampton entrepreneur Eddie “Biz” Literman for attempting to illegally bottle and sell contaminated local lake water. According to the report, Literman had not received necessary Hamptons Municipal Board approvals to take water from the lake in Southampton Village.
“Thankfully, Mr. Literman was not selling the highly dangerous water for drinking, which we believe was his original intent,” Hamptons Police spokesman Larry Hirsch explained. “After he had sucked up about 450 gallons of water from the lake, he tested it—thank God—and realized it would not be safe for human consumption,” Hirsch said. “But, just as he was about to give up on this new venture, Mr. Literman had an epiphany and changed gears,” Hirsch continued. “He found that it makes for an excellent solvent that will strip the paint off just about anything, so he decided to sell that instead.”
Literman was released pending trial. The Hamptons Municipal Board is considering selling the water/solvent legally and putting the proceeds into a new clean water initiative.