Best Christmas Gift of 2022: The M-1 iPhone Remote

M-1 Remote
M-1 Remote
Cartoon by Dan Rattiner

It’s genius. Here’s the one simple trick that the whole Christmas gift industry does not want you to know about. The best Christmas gift ever. Offered only for a limited time. Now available for a price you would not believe. And you have been personally selected.

The M-1 iPhone Remote.

The M-1 iPhone Remote is a gift you must have. Why has nobody thought of this before? Everything works better with a remote. And now you can have one for your iPhone.

It is small and simple. The M-1 iPhone Remote is no bigger than three tongue depressors stacked and glued one atop the other, and so it easily fits in your handbag or pocket. You’ll never be without it.

How often have you heard your iPhone ring but it’s across the room and you cannot get to it in time? Whip out your M-1 Remote. Press the “Shout” button. And then in a normal voice which you have earlier entered, your phone will say, “Just a minute” very loud.

And that will give you the time to walk across the room to get to it before the caller hangs up.

Alternatively, if you hear your phone ring from across the room you can press “Fetch” on the M-1. A string coiled up inside the remote zings out, wraps itself around your iPhone wherever it is, and zips it back to lash it to the remote.

Use your M-1 remote to watch a video on your iPhone from afar. Press “Hologram.” Then hold the M-1 Remote up in front of you. The video on your iPhone far away will play above the M-1 as a shimmering hologram. 

The M1 can instantly secure all your sensitive data. Press “Encrypt,” and all the sensitive data you previously tagged with a blue check will be instantly encrypted into one place — a very obscure and remote corner of your iPhone’s motherboard known only to you ahead of time.

Someone has stolen your iPhone? Press “Fire” on the M-1. No matter where the thieves have run off to, your iPhone will instantly burst into flames. 

Even without your iPhone present, you can enter data on it with your M-1 remote. Simply press “Type” and a tiny keyboard the size of your thumbnail slides out of the top of your M-1.

Remove the small attached steel pin, and touch the keys with it to enter your data. Then by pushing the keyboard back down into the remote, it will automatically save what you wrote into a special folder on your iPhone.

After that, slide the little pin back into its tiny scabbard and it will automatically shut down.

Something between your teeth? Hold the M-1 in front of you and press “Spinach.” The photo it takes is saved via Bluetooth in a picture album on your iPhone that is password protected. So only you, privately, can see it. 

And what if you can’t remember where you put your M-1 Remote? The M-1 is the only device today that can find itself. Press “Find” on the remote. And there it is.

Here’s another feature. Press SIRI on your M-1 and ask a question. It will be sent by Wi-Fi to wherever your iPhone is. And whatever Siri replies will be Wi-Fied back to the M-1 and spoken aloud in a screechy voice on the tiny little speaker. Standard rates apply. 

Double click Siri and you will hear Siri’s response again on the M-1 but this time in Bulgarian. Another double click returns it to English. 

The M-1 iPhone Remote comes in five different shades of gray. Press the small button on the bottom of the remote to change the shade. Or double click it to change to full color and press the small button again to select the one of 45 colors available. 

The M-1 Remote retails at $947. But today, on this day only, it is available for the ridiculously low price of just $94.70.

Not only that, but buying one M-1 for that price will entitle you to buy a second one for only $1. But again, just for this day only, before 4 a.m., if you call right now and say the words “M-1.” The iPhone number is right there on your screen now.

The M-1 will work on your Samsung, Dell, Nokia and Google phone too! 

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