So Apparently, Somebody Got Drunk And Thought Jack Sparrow Was Hanging Himself In Montauk

It’s one o’clock in the morning, and you’ve just finished up your night of rambunctiousness in Montauk. You spoke to a fisherman, and even met a guy who knows how to surf FOR REAL!!! And the margaritas at the Surf Lodge were SOOOOO gooooooooddd…

But soon, you and your friends have a case of the late night munchies from all that bumping and grinding, and you need to get to the new 7-11 (who you can’t wait to visit in the middle of January to say, “what’s up?”)

But on your way sev’s, a childhood nightmare of a pirate hanging himself becomes a reality. Dear God! Is that a pirate hanging himself? Does Montauk even have pirates? OF COURSE IT DOES, AND APPARENTLY THEY ARE DEPRESSED! SOMEBODY CALL THE POLICE.

And so you did, and you patted yourself on the back for doing something good. 

The above story is exactly (more or less) what happened to a young woman who called East Hampton Town Police and alerted the Montauk Fire Department after she saw the statue of Captain Jack Sparrow climbing up a rope at the Montauk Puff and Putt Miniature Golf and mistook it for a guy hanging himself on Sunday.

Police checked out the situation, turns out that Captain Jack is just fine, and the volunteer firemen who had to wake up at 1 a.m. to respond to the scene as well, had a laugh, then went back to bed.

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