Hamptons Police Blotter: Bacon Festival, Bonnie & Clyde

Who would have thought that trouble would be afoot at the Shelter Island Bacon Festival? We sure didn’t think that there would be any problems. And if you were a cop arresting a guy smoking marijuana laced with embalming fluid, you were not a happy camper. It’s been a rough week for all of us.

Once Bitten

A Southampton police officer needed medical attention after he was bitten in the hand during an arrest. The police officer was in the process of arresting two men for smoking marijuana that was laced with embalming fluid.

Shelter Island

Police responded to an argument that broke out at the annual Shelter Island Bacon Festival that took place last week. Old Man McGumbus, 108 years old and former World War II bomb engineer, got into a shouting match with Sue Mcbisquik, the general manager of the Island Health, Vitamins and Smoothie Shop. Mcbisquik confronted McGumbus after filing a complaint with the town for not getting the proper permits for the bacon festival and demanded that he be arrested. Things got ugly when McGumbus threatened to sue Mcbisquik for defamation and threw a bacon sandwich at her head. “THAT’S ASSAULT! THAT’S ASSAULT!” Mcbisquik screamed and called police. No arrests were made.

Bonnie and Clyde

A husband and wife cleaning team was a arrested last week in Hampton Bays after they stole items from a home that included a Nintendo Wii video game system totalling approximately $1,000. The pair also forged and cashed checks that they took from a checkbook inside of the home.

Interesting

An 18-year old Southampton man was arrested after he fired a rifle into his neighbor’s bedroom while attempting to kill rats. The gun that was fired was a .22 caliber. The neighbor called police when he heard the shots. The teen was charged with reckless endangerment in the second degree.

Theft

A woman in East Hampton reported that somebody stole her heart last week.

Smart

A member of the Maidstone Gun Club in East Hampton called police to let them know that a hole had been cut in the chain-link fence that surrounds the gun club. Real smart thing to do there, chain-link fence guy, nothing like pissing off the people with all of the shotguns in town.

Correction

In last week’s Police Blotter we incorrectly stated that man jumped into the ocean in an attempt to save a dog that was drowning but it ended up being a stuffed teddy bear. The teddy bear was in fact a sex doll, and the man was trying to save…a sex doll. We regret the error.