Whether you are trying to find harmony at home or at work, with loved ones or fierce foes, Joyce Philbin-Collier, Life Expert and owner of Robert Collier Publications, is here with some reassuring answers to this month’s questions.
1) What would be the best way for me to fulfill my professional goals and deal with the politics in my work place?
Joyce Philbin-Collier: Office politics are natural and necessary. When a group of diverse people come together for a purpose, and decisions need to be made collectively, politics emerge and are the foundation of decision making. You cannot change how others will behave in this environment, you can only control how you decide to interact within the political climate.
Be aware of derailers—people who offset the balance and hinder progress. They are the people who are obsessed with controlling the situation, people who undercontribute, people who always judge others unfairly, and people who are disruptive for the sake of being disruptive. By being able to contribute in a meaningful way and not aligning with derailers, you will emerge as a comparatively valuable worker. Stay positive and don’t engage in gossip.
Upward mobility is a process. It requires, belief in yourself, faith that it will happen, and avoiding the negative thoughts that it won’t. Patience and perseverance are the key. If you allow negative thoughts, then that is what you will attract. If you believe in yourself and stay positive, you will attract positive outcomes. A level of trust in the operation of a Higher Law is necessary to take this path, and comes about first, by having the faith that it works.
2) My husband cheated on me and now wants a divorce. In the divorce proceeding, he wants the house and full custody of the kids. He is accusing me of things that just aren’t true in order to get what he wants. How do I handle this so my kids don’t start to believe his lies?
Joyce Philbin-Collier: This is a difficult situation and there are no easy answers. First, you are not responsible for your husband’s behavior. People who behave in hateful ways usually hate something in themselves and they project out on unsuspecting people closest in their life. You need to live in the now and live in the truth.
Likely, things will happen that will anger you and this is an attempt by him to draw you into his illusion in hopes to prove you are less than who you are. Don’t hate him. Hate is an acid that once we let it inside us, eats away at our spirit. Someone once gave this imagery: Think of yourself as this beautiful pure lake. Your husband’s behavior is a dirty, rusty car engine. Once you allow his illusions in, it is like throwing a dirty rusty car engine into your lake and now you are polluted.
Your children may be very confused about what is happening but eventually they will be able to figure out what the truth is. Your children are watching every step of this and they see everything. It doesn’t matter how old they are, they are profoundly aware of all that is going on. Avoid playing tug of war with their loyalties.
In the short term, your husband may think he’s “winning” but in the long term, your children will remember that you have always been honest with them and that you love them. Love is the answer to everything. As difficult as things are now, be patient, be calm, and be love.
3) When people talk about attracting positive things in their lives, how do you attract a positive partner? Are the rules the same or different?
Joyce Philbin-Collier: There is only one Law, called by many names. It is the Law of Attraction and it works for all things. Love attracts love and fear attracts fear. If you are seeking a positive partner or any partner for that matter, you must believe you deserve one. First, you need to be a positive partner. If you are negative, that is what you will attract. It’s about being the right person before asking for the right person.
Should your subconscious doubt such a thing will come your way, then it will not come your way, no matter how much you want it. Obsessing over wanting a partner is like focusing on the fact that you don’t have one. Focusing on what you don’t have will only attract more “not having”. The Law is the same for all things.
Love yourself, believe in yourself, and let your wishes out into the universe. You will be delighted in what or who comes into your life.
Joyce Philbin-Collier is a life specialist and owner of Robert Collier Publications. Through her experiences and study of self-help authors and metaphysics, she has been able to help people with every day questions and concerns. You can contact her at [email protected] and visit her online at www.robertcollierpublications.com. If your question is selected to be answered here at Ask the Expert, you will receive a free audio book!
Robert Collier Books—Secret of the Ages, Riches Within Your Reach, Amazing Secrets of the Masters of the Far East, The Robert Collier Letter Book—are now available at Barnes & Noble and Amazon.com in Canada.