Wine and Clam Delivery on Shelter Island

A local bounty of oysters and clams.
A local bounty of oysters and clams. Photo credit: Richard Lewin

Okay, now I’m really getting worried. First, we’ve got a cricket tournament on August 18th, and we had a petanquing tournament on July 11th, and now this, the Island’s first wine tasting room.

According to the Shelter Island Reporter, Keith Bavaro, co-owner of a new restaurant named Salt and Jamesport Vineyards have opened The Tasting Room, a wine tasting room directly accessible by boat.  Oh yeah, it’s gonna be a great summer…

“I think this is the best idea you ever had, George. We’ll pull the whaler right up, get the wine and go sell it to the anchor-outs on the bay.  The Shelter Island Wine and Clam Delivery Service. Hey, you got a clean tee shirt I can borrow, George?”

“Here Ronny. We want to look serious when we taste this wine. I got a black marker here somewhere. I can draw you a tie.  Now, remember, you just swish it around in your mouth, make a face like you’re thinking about how it tastes, then you’re supposed to spit it out in some kind of spittoon they provide.”

“What’s the purpose of spitting out perfectly good wine, George? That doesn’t make any sense. We’re sampling it for our customers.”

“I don’t know why Ronny, just swish and spit. Just do it. It’s the way it’s done. I guess that’s why it’s called wine tasting and not wine drinking.   They don’t want people boating in, getting wasted, then boating out.”

“Right, that never happens on the Island…..”

“Okay, Ronny, let me do the talking to the owner and make the deal. How many clams we got?”

“About two and a half bushels. Let’s save one bushel for the anchor-outs and trade the rest, George.”

“Okay, so we’re trading six pecks.  I’m thinking we should get at least twelve bottles of something.”

one hour later…

“Fifteen bottles, that’s good, Georgie, me boy-o. The owner’s a nice guy too.

“Yea, he was happy to get fresh clams for his restaurant. It was a good trade.”

“George, you remember how to pronounce any of the names of these wines?”

“Not really, but probably neither can the people we’re selling it too. Let’s open the most unpronounceable one and have it for breakfast.”

“It’s only 10 A.M., George,  you really think we should have wine now?”

“Yea, you’re right, too early for wine. Pass me a beer.  Lets go over to that nice boat over there, looks like she sleeps six. I see people moving around.”

Twenty minutes later…

“Okay sir, that’s one fourth bushel of clams and two Pinot’s and a Merlot.  Eighty ought to cover it.  I’m throwing you the rope to the bucket. There’s a wallet in the bottom for the money.  ….   yea, sure, we can come by tomorrow.  No, don’t give us your cell phone number, we don’t carry phones in the boat, they don’t like salt air and we always seem to lose them overboard or hit them with bait or something. We’ll just pull up sometime between ten and noon. If you don’t want us to come, hang a bra over the side, that works good as a Do Not Disturb sign.”

Yup, it’s looking to be a great summer for the whole Island. Now, could somebody PLEASE open a theater here?








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