Police Blotter

Hamptons Police Blotter: Public Nudity, Stolen Presents and Batteries

Police in the Hamptons were busy in the last week after some wild activity took place, including a naked Old Man McGumbus on Shelter Island as well as people stealing Christmas presents!

A Bunch Of Scrooges

Two people are being sought for stealing Christmas presents that were left on the front porch of a North Fork home. The woman who reported the incident said her daughter witnessed two women running onto the porch and absconding with the gifts in a blue station wagon.

Shelter Island

Old Man McGumbus, 102-year-old former welter weight army boxing champion and World War II Heavy Weapons NCO was arrested for public nudity last Thursday after he was discovered passed out on Main Street at 4:15 a.m. wearing nothing but a German WWII helmet.

The old man’s hands were tied behind his back and he had bruises on his face and neck that indicated to police that he was severely beaten.

Police at first thought McGumbus was the victim of a violent attack. However, an eyewitenss reported that while being arrested, Old Man McGumbus said to police, “If there is one thing I can say with absolute certainty it is that sex with a retired school teacher will blow your damn mind.”


A man punched a woman directly in the face, knocking her to the ground while inside a restaurant in Sag Harbor. Other guests at the restaurant helped the woman up and the man was arrested for assault.

Batteries Not Included

Two men in East Quogue were attempting to steal car batteries but noticed that store employees were watching them, which caused them to drop the batteries and make a run for it. They were not caught.

Hunting For…

Two hunters were rescued in Shinnecock Bay after they got lost in the fog, started walking into the water and then began screaming for help. The disoriented men are reported to be in stable condition.Yet another reason to always bring a boat when hunting in water in the Hamptons.


A 16-year-old was arrested on a charge of grand larceny last week after he allegedly stole a credit card from his mother and poceeded to charge the card up the wazoo. The teen reportedly took out $100 at a local grocery store and also bought a coat on the internet during his shopping spree. The mother of the accused decided to press charges. The young man was arrested and held for arraignment overnight.

Read more Hamptons Police Blotter and get exclusive Old Man McGumbus updates at danshamptons.com.

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