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The Hamptons Brown Toilet Challenge: I Will Give $100 Cash To The Person That Can Find Me A Brown Toilet For Sale

So here’s the story. I am seriously looking for a brown toilet. My girlfriend’s father has an obsession with  the idea of having a brown toilet installed in his bathroom. I do not know why he wants it, but he does. Not espresso colored, not dark brown, but brown. Like the color of wood.

I had no idea that this was a fact, but it is absolutely impossible to find a brown toilet, even with today’s technology and the Internet. It seems that everybody wants to sell toilets that are white, sand color or grey.

I have searched feverishly now for three days in the hopes that I would be able to get him a brown toilet for his Christmas present. I have checked everywhere. I’ve been on the telephone with Kohler, American Standard all of the great flush companies of the world and have come up empty.

I’ve call them, checked out their websites, they don’t make brown toilets anymore. The brown toilet is a lost art.

I will even pay for somebody to custom make me a toilet that is brown.

This is not a joke. I am dead serious about finding a brown toilet. I respect a guy who knows what he wants, and all my girlfriend’s father wants is to be happy when he sits down on his throne at home. And white is just not cutting it.

If you know anybody, anywhere, that is selling a toilet that is brown, please let me know by emailing me or commenting below, and if you find the right color, I will give you $100 in cash.


By the way, this $100 comes from me personally, not from Dan’s Papers. 

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