Police Blotter

Hamptons Police Blotter: Crazy Car Chase, McGumbus

Police this week in the Hamptons didn’t have it very easy after a car chase ended with an uneventful ending. And if you’ve never seen a 106-year-old man in a ghillie suit chasing a deer in your backyard, you haven’t lived.

Catch Me If You Can

A man from the Shinnecock Indian Reservation had police chasing him at high speeds through Southampton Village. The man was driving at speeds in excess of 70 miles per hour in a 25 mile an hour zone, twisting and turning throughout the village—at one point even driving onto the lawn of a home. He eventually eluded police by driving into the Shinnecock Indian Reservation. Police in Southampton do not have jurisdiction to enter the Shinnecock Reservation, so they stopped pursuing the man and called State Police. Did anybody else know that the Shinnecock Reservation border is kind of like making it across the Mexican border when running from police? I sure didn’t. Anyway, police are expecting to arrest the man soon.

Another Bad Driver

An unlicensed driver was arrested in Hampton Bays after he smashed into the back of another car and then took off. The man was found after police looked up his car and got his identity. Not too bright.


A shotgun was stolen from a home in East Hampton last week. The gun was stolen along with a box of shotgun shells. Hopefully somebody is just really desperate to go deer hunting this January.

Shelter Island

Speaking of hunting, Old Man McGumbus, 106-years-old and a decorated World War II sniper specialist, terrified 77-year-old Shelter Island lawyer Andy Goldbergsteinowitz while he was in pursuit of a shot deer. The old man was tracking a deer he shot with a 12-gauge slug that ran onto Mr. Goldbersteinowitz‘ yard. McGumbus was wearing a full camouflage ghillie suit while chasing the deer and fell into Mr. Goldbersteinowitz‘ swimming pool by accident and began thrashing around in the water. Confused and terrified, Mr. Goldbersteinowitz began throwing lawn furniture at McGumbus, striking him in the arm. McGumbus then jumped out of the swimming pool and said, “Damn it, Goldbersteinowitz! You’re scaring off the deer!” and then ran off into the woods to continue his pursuit.

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