Lately there seems to be a lot of discussion about what to do with several vacant buildings on the East End. In the past, I have offered my entrepreneurial wisdom as it relates to generating revenue for our local economies. And that, along with the help of Mr. Springsteen, brings me to my latest idea.
In 1984, Bruce Springsteen released his seventh studio album, Born in the USA, which featured the eponymous hit song. What if it had been titled, “Born In The Hamptons?”
Wherever you are born stays with you for life. It also effects people’s perception of you when they ask questions like, “So where were you born?” or “Where are you from?”
If your answer is Trenton, New Jersey or Tupelo, Mississippi—not that there is anything the matter with being from either place—you may be stereotyped as being less sophisticated or intelligent than someone from Gross Point Wood, Michigan or Potomac, Maryland. And that can affect your chances of getting that dream job or even attracting your soulmate.
My contention is that parents should give their children every opportunity to be successful in this very competitive world. In keeping with that thought, what if parents could guarantee that their children will be able to say, “I was born in the Hamptons.” It is possible! Everyone has heard of the zip code 90210. They associate it with affluence. They even created a television show by the same name. I believe that the Hamptons name carries a certain cache that is unmatched.
If my idea takes off, 11976 or 11932 may become the new 90210.
The Hamptons Birthing Center will serve those parents who see the benefit of giving their children this advantage. The Center will house mothers-to-be in the last few weeks of their pregnancy. Once they have given birth in the Center, the birth certificate will reflect the city and zip code of where the birth took place and that will forever be “on the books.” Perhaps the Center can cut a deal with Hampton Jitney to pick the expectant mothers up at the airport and transport them to the Center. It can be called the “Birthing Bus” or something similar.
When the birth is completed, the mother and child will go back to wherever it is they really live and the cycle will continue with new mothers arriving each week. The Birthing Center can charge a very high fee for their services and a portion of that can go to the local government to help offset our current deficits. It is a win-win for everyone. As the word gets out, more and more people will want to take advantage of the opportunity and the model can be expanded to additional East End cities. In time, people from all over the world will want to give birth in the Hamptons. The possibilities are endless.
I even have a plan where Dan’s Papers can advertise the birth announcements and a picture of the newborns in a section titled “Dan’s Babes.”
Maybe even a reality show named The Hamptons 11932. Has a nice ring to it!