Derwood Hodgegrass Finds Peace in the Amazon

Following almost two weeks off the grid, eccentric billionaire Derwood Hodgegrass was seen returning to his Southampton estate by helicopter early Wednesday morning.

Hodgegrass—who has been in conflict with the Southampton Town Board over his plans to build a massive, 150-yard swimming pool—detonated explosives in a three-acre plot of farmland adjacent to his mansion on July 4 and then disappeared. The billionaire announced he would break ground on his “Sea-lysium” pool project on Independence Day, with our without approval, and detonated a large quantity of semtex as a sort of protest to the Town’s continued refusal to permit construction of “the biggest pool America has ever seen.”

Following the July 4 explosion, Hodgegrass was immediately extracted by the same large, black helicopter that returned him to Southampton on Wednesday. So where did he go?

“I thought it might be time to get away and regroup,” Hodgegrass said in a phone call Wednesday evening. “I spent 10 days exploring the spirit realm in the Amazon, under the guidance of my ayahuasquero Don Julio Luiz Pedena,” Hodgegrass said, adding, “It has absolutely cleared my mind.”

While under the influence of the hallucinogen ayahuasca, the controversial Hamptonite said he is at peace about the Sea-lysium issue.

“It will be, or it won’t. The universe will decide,” Hodgegrass said. “Right now I have much bigger plans to worry about,” he added. “I received a message from the spirit world and I now know what I must do to redefine the Hamptons,” Hodgegrass continued, noting cryptically, “More will be revealed soon.”

It’s unclear how he managed it, but for now it appears Hodgegrass will not be charged for detonating explosives illegally on July 4.

Operating out of the Peruvian Amazon, Don Julio Luiz Pedena is a well known celebrity shaman, ayahuasquero and “purveyor of entheogens.” He has guided many of Hollywood’s best and brightest on trips to the spirit world for entertainment, adventure and therapy. Hodgegrass said he is considering flying Luiz Pedena to Southampton and retaining his services as an “in-house advisor” for a new project during the month of August.

Meanwhile, the billionaire said the party will continue at Hodgegrass Mansion and his regular guests are welcome over the coming weekend.