Justin Bieber Moving to the Hamptons? Sure, Why Not!

Justin Bieber The Menace
The Hamptons may have a new menace in town and his name is Justin. Photos: Oliver Peterson on Publicity Photo

Rumor has it, but it has yet to be confirmed (we may have started it), that Justin Bieber may be seeking refuge in the Hamptons. This would seem more logical than him heading back to his Calabasas home, where he may be criminally charged for egging his neighbor’s house. And a return to Miami is definitely out of the question.

I must admit that I am a Belieber. A Belieber that all men, or in this case “all boys,” are innocent until proven guilty. And that is why the Hamptons may be the perfect place for “the Biebs” to hang until the truth can come out and he is vindicated for the recent crimes he allegedly committed.

Why the Hamptons? Well for starters, there are currently many celebrities and wealthy people living in the area that have been accused of various crimes. Take Old Man McGumbus for example. In 2013 alone, he was accused of more than 375 crimes. Yet he still is held in high esteem.

Further, East Enders are known for their forgiving spirit. What did we do after Jason Kidd was arrested for drunk driving in Water Mill? We forgave him and awarded him the head coaching position of The Brooklyn Nets. We have adopted the mantra, “Let whoever is without sin cast the first stone”.

To further bolster my support of Mr. Bieber, just yesterday I witnessed two minivans, complete with mothers and kids, racing through the King Kullen Supermarket parking lot in Bridgehampton, just to get to the parking spot closest to the door. And I am certain at least one of those mothers was either on anti-depressants (prescription medication) or had been drinking “Mommy Juice.” Yet neither of them were arrested. So why the Biebs? Perhaps he should be honored for telling the truth when the policeman asked, “Have you been drinking?”

Living in the Hamptons might just allow this young man the time he needs to reflect on his life and make the necessary changes. Let us embrace and not judge thee. Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses and give us your accused.

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