The Hamptons Subway

Hamptons Subway Newsletter: January 30 – February 5, 2015

Week of January 30 – February 5, 2015
Riders this past week: 9,411
Rider miles this past week: 72,844

DOWN IN THE TUBE
Cartoonist Jules Feiffer and his other half, novelist J.Z. Holden, rode the subway from East Hampton to Sag Harbor on Friday afternoon. Rock legend Debbie Harry rode the subway from Bridgehampton to Water Mill on Tuesday morning. Director Barry Sonnenfeld used the subway Wednesday from Montauk to Amagansett around 4 p.m.

AIRPORT STOP OPENS
East Hampton Town Supervisor Larry Cantwell cut the ribbon to inaugurate the new subway stop at East Hampton Airport on Thursday. The new stop offers direct, same-platform service for travel by helicopter to New York. The entry to the Airport station is a large square helicopter pad on a runway just to the north of the terminal. When a helicopter lands on this pad, the weight of the helicopter activates machinery which, with the sound of a horn to keep people clear, lowers the pad 10 feet down into the station to where it stops flush with the new subway platform below. Helicopter passengers from New York City then exit onto the pad and take just 10 steps to the edge of the subway platform to await the arrival of a train. After everyone has disembarked, new subway passengers waiting by the pad to take the helicopter back to New York climb into the chopper, an all clear sounds and after a brief ten second wait (for safety) the pad automatically rises up to the level of the helipad again so the helicopter can take off into the sky. For the first week, as a promotion, the cost of the service is just one subway token. Offer ends Ferbuary 6.

The new subway stop connects to the Sagaponack and Sag Harbor stations via tunnels from both those locations. It was designed by Frks Alakaza, the well-known Indonesian architect who in October built just such a subway/chopper stop in Dubai adjacent to the Burj Khalifa. It was the only one in the world for just a New York minute. Incidentally, protesters carrying signs were kept away from the airport for the ribbon cutting. The signs read LARRY CANTWELL, SHAME! as a commentary on the fact that Cantwell, on the same day he cut the ribbon, also announced he is considering new town legislation that would restrict helicopter use at the airport. Demonstrators were there from both sides of this issue.

TIME TRIALS
A new speed record for “fastest time to make the circuit of the Hamptons Subway” was set last Sunday afternoon by “Wild Bill” Recompence of Austin, Texas when he motored a souped-up subway train completely around the 72-mile system, passing the checkered flag at the Montauk Yards station in just 1 hour and 27.4 minutes.

Unfortunately, after his run it was found that crew members for Recompence had, just before the firing of the starting gun, secretly overinflated the tires on each of the five Hampton Subway cars he towed, and so he was disqualified.

The winner of this event, called the First Annual Hamptons Subway Grand Prix, was then declared to be the second place finisher, and that turned out to be our own Billy Happenstance of Hampton Bays, the sole motorman from Hamptons Subway entered in the six-man competition. He won a gold cup, a laurel wreath, a six pack of beer and a check for $1,000.

Thousands of people watched this event from the subway platforms. It was well publicized. Everyone looks forward to next year.

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE
The Commissioner failed to file a report before the deadline for this issue. His comments will be in next week.

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